Three. (Billy goats, blind mice, bears and pigs. Yah, that's kinda three, kinda four ;))

P was so excited for the lights to go down and the curtain to go up...

We saw the new marionette show, Three, in Central Park this week. P was positively fixated for the duration. It was a cute show, but, honestly, I'm often appalled at the things included in common kid's fare (name calling and general meanness.) The city's marionette shows are no exception (nor are so many kid's books and videos.) I don't want to seem a scrooge as I pooh-pooh much of modernity's kid lit, but I fail to see the reasoning behind mentoring horribleness.

E tried to soothe one of my post-bedtime tirade's one evening (who needs a shrink when you have the quietest, most listening-filled hubby ever? Poor guy probably just wants to read the news and sack out :) Why, why would books show children how to whittle down their complex emotions into insults? Why do kid's films (target audience: the young and impressionable) insist on tossing the word "idiot" around every corner???

As E purred something about hoping to help kids learn to navigate difficult situations, like bullying, I countered that there is very little, if any, resolution displayed in most of these situations. Name calling goes on without a downbeat. The foe is occasionally included into the friend pack by the end, but without any obvious resolution. Maybe an adult could recognize the subtle nuances that have gone unspoken. But what's being mentored is conflict, vast arrays of new, unexplored conflict (in many kid's cases), without real resolution.

E, being the brilliant hubby he is, knew to just nod at this point and agree with my supposedly sage insanity. The kid is five now, and this man has his role down pat.

Imagine my feelings of vindication when I recently read that this particular complaint had been studied by scientists. These childless brainiacs didn't expect the outcome they got, but I'd guess many mothers would:

"After the first year in Buffalo, Ostrov [the study lead] ran the numbers. The children in Buffalo watched a ratio of about two parts educational media to one part violent media, on average. More exposure to violent media did increase the rate of physical aggression shown at school - however, it did so only modestly. In fact, watching educational television also increased the rate of physical aggression, almost as much as watching violent TV. And just like in the Minnesota study, educational television had a dramatic effect on relational aggression. The more the kids watched, the crueler they'd be to their classmates. This correlation was 2.5 times higher than the correlation between violent media and physical aggression.

Essentially, Ostrove had just found that Arthur is more dangerous for children than Power Rangers."

(For those out of the kid media loop, I believe the Arthur the study refers to isn't the Dudley Moore one from the '80's, but the "edutainment" series of books and shows. An entire shelf is dedicated to this awfulness at the library. I would rather P watch Star Wars than see a single episode.)

Another study (that patiently waded through hundreds of kid's shows) discovered the crux of the situation. They found that "96% of all children's programming includes verbal insults and put-downs, averaging 7.7 put-downs per half-hour episode.... We can imagine educational television might use an initial insult to then teach a lesson about how insults are hurtful, but that never was the case, Schiebe found. Of the 2,628 put-downs the team identified, in only 50 instances was the insulter reprimanded or corrected - and not once in an educational show. Fully 84% of the time, there was either only laughter or no response at all."

Seriously. And frustratingly, so many books are the same. What the hell? Why is our culture showing our kids how to "be mean?" I believe in the resiliency of children, yadi yadi. I understand a kid can hear this stuff and grow into a gorgeous adult. What I'm wondering is why? Why is it even there??? Why are writers choosing to show kids shit instead of straight-up inspiration? Cuz here's the catch 22, if the writers think they are mimicking real life to the kids, studies are showing its actually the kids mimicking the shit-on-others stories, that then try to mimic "authentic" kid interaction, that is only mimicking previous shitty stories that mimicked... Yeesh.

(Recent Little Man example of said inspiration :) P recently watched Homeward Bound. Synopsis: Dogs and cat cross mountains to reach their lovin' owners. Seems innocent enough? Ha. That's what E thought when he got it. The dogs and cat fight, verbally, just like, well, cats and dogs (Netflix user ratings said this was a "sweet story for the whole family" - do other mums not mind the verbal aggression? I fully accept the fact that I may be a freak here....) Before viewing, P had never tossed a real insult in his life, his upsets were expressed in honest terms. The next day? "BB!! Stop it, you bumberbut!" It was "thunderbutt" in the show, but he got the general gist. Oy vey.)

Anyhoo, P so enjoys live shows, so I'm trying to make sure we get to a couple every month. And he's decided he wants to watch videos again. So this whole subject is definitely in the forefront of my mind these days. Obviously, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is queued before conventional kiddie crap...

(By the by, anyone have suggestions for non-insult laden flicks??? So far, P tends to prefer shows that are villain free, bonus points for including some physical comedy - and he loves non-animated shows with girl leads like Charlotte's Web(My neighbor Totoro and Mary Poppins are two other faves...) If you have ideas - leave me a list and I'll be eternally grateful!!!)