Kids

Lame title :). But this is just a ramble since Z is zonking early (one nap). Were I on a fullsized keyboard, not side-nursing in bed, I would edit and creatively title. Maybe even find a theme. But having a second has squashed all vanity. I routinely forget to take off my houseshoes (yes, I just admitted to having houseshoes), rarely shower and public typos no longer terrify me. RIP vanity.

Eating has been a challenge lately. Z feels feisty during meal times and I can't figure out what she needs. She happily smears her food around, then sits on my lap for a bit to smear my food around, then doesn't want down but doesn't want up and fusses and squiggles on my lap. And honestly? I'm not a happy hungry person :). And I reeeeally like to eat.

So going out, though feasible now with carefully vetted menus, is typically a turn taking situation for E and I, with one of us walking the sidewalk while the other scarfs down dinner alongside P. But tonight, Z got ahold of a crostini smeared with roasted garlic and sat still the Entire Meal. I'm so not for giving babies junk food - or even empty foods like white flour, but damn, that was peaceful :). She worked that crusty crostini till it was g-o-n-e.

What else... Oh, interesting aside. P was in a foul mood the other day and went off on how much he disliked Zia. Called her names, didn't want to be by her... It was so odd, typically, though she frustrates him regularly, you can't get the kid to leave the poor baby alone. And he watches her, smiling, all the time. So I hugged on him. I validated. But nothing got it out of his system, he was, seemingly, So Angry with her.

And she hadn't even done anything frustrating...So Z and I changed rooms and i thought on it. I realized *I* had really frustrated him shortly before... When P followed us in, spitting foulness, we chatted and, come to find out, he wasn't actually mad at his sister. He was upset with me. But him thinking I suck, well, not so palatable as Z sucking. When I apologized, he was instantly better. He jumped the baby gate, turned to me and said, "I feel So Much Better.". Then he hugged his sister :). Then he asked me how he could be upset about something and his brain not realize what he was upset about. I told him it even happens to adults :). But I have to remember this, as she gets older and gets his goat more, that his anger might be misplaced...

Zia's anger, on the other hand. Wowsah. Pis-tol. And she can get so mad at a toy for not doing what she wants that she will fall to the ground, shrieking, and drag her teary self forward, running into walls or whatnot. And, unlike P, for whom I (or nursing;) solved all ills, Zia will just flop the opposite direction if I attempt to help or soothe. She wants to do it all by her damn self, buzz off, thankyouverymuch.

Some days (yesterday, I'm looking at You) I feel like a ping pong ball and think two is totally nutty, three or more is just plain heroic (or insane ;). Z was falling apart every other toy (teething, I loathe thee. Mixed with tummy troubles - thanks to testing melons. That'd be a no-go. Yuck.). So Z was a hot mess. And P, gawd I love his enthusiasm. His joy for life. His aggressive passion for playing with his baby sister. But (but!) - wow. Sometimes the running and the screaming and the cackling and the growling and the singing and the throwing and the everything-ing - at such volume and speed... And wanting me to watch it all - witness his every moment. And I settle her while listening to him and then he's zooming past teasing her and she's falling apart again and I'm just. trying. to. make. breakfast. Cuz I'm (always) hungry and, dammit, I LIKE to eat.

I swear, they plot against me some days. When it is noon, I'm in my jammies, unfed, surrounded by messes and small people tears, I want to join them and cry like a failure. These days are fewer as she gets older. But it shocks me that there are still these days.

And that is why there are parks. We've gone, a lot, this week. Not to the park gatherings, just up the street. The noise echoes less loudly there. And I always bring an apple. Cuz I like to eat.

Various pics from the week. Lots from the park. Z chomping cantaloupe (for the last time!). Z happy with that crostini.

Zia: Her ninth month

Ten Months now. Tantrums. Temper. Too cute. It all fits these days. Her personality is popping out and she is a hoot.

She laughs and coughs and squeals at Everyone to get their attention. She is a Super Social baby, a regular at the playground. Her gusto has made more than a few toddlers anxious...

When she isn't getting what she wants, she expresses herself, clearly and loudly. Basically, she shrieks (think baby pterodactyl). If this warning is not heeded, she escalates. It can be an impressive (LOUD) display of personality if we don't figure our shit out fast enough...

Diaper changes (as I appear to be an epic failure at ECing. She pees and poos on the potty each morning and then it's dipes all day. A Strong Refusal to take breaks to potty here...). At any rate - diaper changes became completely impossible this last month. My mother warned that the neighbors would call the authorities for fear we were removing toenails without pain
meds. (See note on Screaming.). She has gotten so strong (in body and will;) that even E could barely muscle her to stay on her back. She can flip over and hang upside down in a freakin millisecond. Sigh. So the biggest news of the month is that that problem has been solved, no authorities called :). Baths and changing her on my lap (yes, tricky) have saved the day. She's so happy with this set up (as long as it is Me, not E) that she even bends forward in the bath and helps lift her leg up;)

She is running, as much as such short legs can run. She dribbles the soccer ball across the park. She will play any game she can get started (peek a boo, hide and seek, scream and run (a fave with P...) chase, tummy blower, wrestling, you name it, she wants to play too :). She loves to smear food Everywhere. She loves the color red.

She's still just saying Mama, Papa, Brabra (brother), hi and cat. And she doesn't say these often, just a couple words a day. But there are lots of funny new sounds. Tongue clicking, bubble blowing, raspberry making, pphtbing, social laughing (as in, everyone is laughing, so she goes "hahahaha"), silly babbling and copying P singing a bit.

She also started instigating dancing. Took us a while to figure it out (we're slow here:). She started clapping her hands Months ago, but then started doing it again a couple days ago. It was obvious she was trying to communicate Something. She signs hi, bye, papa and down - but it wasn't that.... Then she did it again and started bouncing. It hit me - she was asking me to clap and sing for her to dance (something I do each day but hadn't thought a thing of it.). So I started clapping and singing and she was off with her little ballerina run with attempted hops and her little twirls and stomps and claps. And, of course, the biggest damn grin Evah;)

She is on the cusp of moving to one nap. If she could manage to stay asleep longer at night, I think she could make the transition. As it is, it's just too long to go from her first nap until bedtime, so she falls for a second one, that is getting later and later, making bedtime harder and later and later... Tricky time that ten month bit ;)

The car is still a toss up. We only try if I'm feeling extra resilient :). P, after a period of adamant refusal to aid her, is pulling off some fabulous baby entertainment again. But sometimes we just take the bus, which she loves (people to coo at).

I'm sure there's ten more things I'd like to note, but I can't remember anything these days, so this will have to do :)

Random pics...

Hide and go seek

P and Z played hide and seek tonight and it was a hoot! We're having so much fun with Zia understanding us :). I told P to hide and then said to Zia, "Go find Phoenix!". And off she skittered, laughing. P hummed softly (she is only a baby;) so that it wouldn't be toooo hard for her - and she found him every time! In closets, under beds, behind couches. Then out they'd both come, laughing their little, tired butts off. Seeing her patter around in her footsie pj's, excitedly cackling, totally made up for feeling like a failure Mommy all day yesterday (can you say "run over by two small freight trains and a bad mood"?;).

I LOVE watching them play together. I had No Idea anything could feel this sweet.

Build it and they will come...

E and I LOVE our families. Despite moving across the country from them, we actually wish we were close (just not in Kansas ;) Staying with my parents each year feels like the way things "should" be. The Grands there to help with the kids, giving them a wider base to rely on than just E and I. Raising kids, isolated from family, it kinda sucks.

So we were sooo pleased with ourselves, luring family to NYC, living somewhere we loved with those we loved nearby. It had been an empty haul there, after we had P. For anyone that has ever moved to a city with kids but without any friends or family, the difference is palpable. If something goes wrong, you are On Your Own. We've done it a few times now, and space feels so expansive, its a strange emotional shift I can't really explain. When family comes to town - bam - space contracts and feels snugly :)

So we've had another year of feeling the isolation. Fortunately, Portland is Friendly. And homeschoolers here are welcoming. And we have had something to pin our hopes and dreams on... luring family West :)

And it worked. We didn't have to do too much, Portland sells itself. (Tired of me singing west coast praises? Sorry! But this city, it seriously Rocks:).

So, tomorrow, or perhaps the day after, Uncle Seth and Aunt Alicia will arrive. To Stay. I've skipped chattering about it here because it means so much to my little family that I just didn't want to jinx it.

And part of me couldn't believe it would really happen. From our first (and only;) visit to Oregon, we just Knew it would be the most perfect place for E and the boys. City, mountains. climbing, hiking, snowboarding, those beaches, the people, the prices.... A damn good fit. We idly dreamed about getting family here. Raising our kids with cousins. Lots of little feet enjoying these green back yards. But it was almost too much to hope for. And now, pinch me, its really happening :)

Right down to the commune like setting we'd always dreamed of ;). This crazy duplex will be a house full of family by the end of the week, and even (eek!!!) a little full-er of family by the end of October :))). Yup, Seth and Alicia are bringing a baby-to-be West with them and I can't wait to meet him/her when Alicia pops this fall!!!

So much joy, its silly :). P, excited for his park day today, park day tomorrow, Aunt and Uncle the next and (one more!) park day after that, was jumping (literally) for joy tonight, saying it is the Best Week Ever. I agree :). Now if only I could get our parents to consider residence out West... ;)

Picture: Zia exploring Seth and Alicia's house. It was in Bad shape (f.i.l.t.h.y gross) when we bought it and Z hadn't ever been able to get down in that space and run around. She was pleased as punch this week when I went down to do a little work and lowered her to the floor. She and P then ran around Shrieking, breaking the place (and the sound barrier) in.

Last bit of catch up...

I'm almost through my old pics! Tired of reading yet, Mom?!;). Here we go....

Zia started running this week. She is fast. She squats all the time, plays with a toy (slowly moving from just mouthing to also playing...) then pops up and she's off! Today, I caught her trying to jump. A few times. She also practices steps as often as she can. Going so far as to orchestrate the challenge by laying flat pillows in her own wake. She can walk up and down steps that are a couple inches high, but full on stairs, obviously;) are still too tall for her wee legs. The dancing is what gets me the most. I was strumming the guitar this morning and she started bouncing and running and trying to jump. I stopped and she came over, patted my hand into the guitar and then started bouncing/running and laughing as soon as I strummed again. Talk about finding joy in music. (I was plucking P's out of tune kid guitar:). I will skip my 9 months, sigh, bit this time, as I obviously find ridiculous joy in the babe ;)

P has been showing pride in his home, randomly cleaning with our new fave, The Magic Sponge (where was this item hiding for so long?!). He's also started vacuuming and helping put away groceries. It was such a natural progression, I didn't think about it until I started this blog entry, actually. I mean, he's not suddenly a full time homemaker ;) but he is participating of his own accord (ie., unasked) in house keeping duties. When it suits him ;)

And he started really reading. This, I tell you, has been a Joy to watch. Right after Z was born, he asked for some reading help and we practiced letters for a week or two. Then it was just more than we got around to, honestly. I just unpacked some early readers Thursday and he took a look and... he could read them. Like fucking magic. I always believed the *theory* of unschooling, but it is way cool to see it Actually Happen :). So far, it is the same with math. He does multiplication and division (addition and subtraction, too;) pretty regularly, but not in a traditional schooling framework. I think if he was quizzed, at this point, he wouldn't be able to answer many math questions, despite the understanding of how the systems behind the math works. But he mused on primes a few months ago, without ever being told which numbers are divisible, or what divisible even is. I trust, especially in the wake of this reading bit, that the language and specifics will come, eventually. I'm glad we've been patient. I'm thankful we live in a country that allows homeschooling so that we could watch the beauty of natural learning unfold (Germany, I'm looking at You). I'm hopeful he won't get too flustered at the long road that becoming a reader really is, and that it will remain an excitement to him...

Done! All caught up on the last few weeks' photos, just as the baby stretches and wakes. I think she grew in her sleep....

Foooood

I think we've hit homeostasis with Z's food. No seeds, no nightshades (potatoes, tomatoes, peppers, eggplant etc), no eggs and no peanuts or walnuts. I think grapes may be a No also, as well as apricots, but I'll trial them both again in a few weeks.

This leaves Lots of food to eat :). When we're at home, I almost forget there are issues, its become that natural. But eating out is pretty damn tricky unless its a plain burger. Crazy how much of life has an egg, nut or nightshade in it ;)

She's still really enjoying trying foods. Some days she seems to chow and other days she barely swallows (fists, drops and smears, sure, but not swallows ;) two bites. She seems particularly fond of meat, fruit and fermented foods. I feel bad when she throws herself at E's cherry tomatoes (edible red balls?!! they are a daily snack for him) and she doesn't get why he doesn't share :(. But giving her a nibble of a cherry is a cheap trick that soothes ;).

Phone blogger has these photos put of order. Obviously, the go from clean to dirty;). She's determined to use a spoon.

Park Days.

Summer is straight up magical here. So are the parks. So there is a homeschool meet-up at various parks every day of the week. And, after a few fun successes, the Little Man has decided he is all in :). Its sweet to see him making so many friends and sweet to see Zia running after him and getting right into the middle of it all.

P has commented, quite a few times, about how nice people are here and how fast he can make friends, compared to NYC. Its an interesting observation... People are certainly more open and inviting, but I think its also because P is older? Whatever it is, the kids are happily running amok every Monday and Thursday and some Tuesdays too :). The car ride home for Z, now, that's a different (sad) tale...

Backyard Jungletime

The yard is still a disaster. We've made a pocket of it pretty, but there's a lot of bare dirt and weeds back there still. Time, there is not enough :)

But the kids Love it down there! The rental had this lovely, landscaped space that... we just never truly enjoyed. Our weedy oasis we love :). Zia, I like to say she forages for the raspberries, but in reality, she also forages for rocks, cigarette butts or anything else small, so.... ;). P, I think, loves that he isn't "destroying" anything with his wild play. Its already a mess :).

Random order:

The short lived (stick slashed, sigh) mouth blown pool. To be patched...

Zia, messy from "foraging"

P, in his self made tree house. He scavenged the old boards laying around the yard and fashioned himself a hideout. Yesterday, he proudly showed me the path (found rocks) he added and the extreme "trim job" he gave his tree. Proper pruning 101 was Not followed, but its Oregon, and shit just groooows ;)

4th of July

P was pumped for the fourth. Last year, his first out of NYC, introduced him to the possibility of personal pyrotechnics. This year, he had Big plans AND he had Grams. Killer combo :)

Then his night improved even more. The twenty-something's that live next door had a stoop party, hammock, sidewalk chalk and all. P luuuuvs twenty-something's :).

With his Grandmother and his tipsy buddies watching, he shot off 25 variants of the same light squirting thingy in the middle of the street and E dutifully shoveled up the shit left behind:). Zia watched on in wonder. The first one maaaaay have slightly startled her? But to be perfectly honest, I think this babe's fight or flight response may be fucked, what, with all of the false death rattles, scary attacks and screamfests she experiences daily... A few explosions seemed pretty par for the course, I guess.

We finished off the night watching the river display out the attic windows, cuddling. P declared it the most perfect fourth, evah:)

Cinderella and Instagram

So there is this app. It lets you lazy filter your pics and is just about tailor made for this Mama who can only dream about getting the photos from the phone to the computer to the editing board. I use it All the time.

Then I found out - its a social thing. (Color me Old and Clueless) Awesome Aunt A, apparently, could see our album. After the shock of sharing snippets of our lives (nothing interesting, nothing risqué ;) wore off, I warmed to the idea. I was able to follow a few other family members and found it F-U-N. So, I invited my besties to join and post pics and ahhhh, window into their worlds! What I have been missing for these last seven years! And we don't have to ignore our kids while we chat, or burn dinner while we stealth text or just busily miss each other. Insert happy dance.

BUT (always a but;) since my mom and besties can now see us.... I forget to blog and go to sleep instead :). Long story short - join Instagram ;)

But, seriously, I gotta play catch up:). Sorry I can't order these and caption them by phone!


We made Cinderella take a cleaning break and go on a hike with us. P was So Happy. Then they played catch in the park while Z climbed around the car trying to eat things:)


We ran lots of errands - some of which Z insisted on walking on her own to... Which adds Hours to a timeline ;)

After an epic fail of an attempt to get yard work done one day, Grams shot P with the super blast setting on the hose while he streaked along the far side of the fence. I gave it a go (the spraying, not the streaking) - and it was amazingly satisfying ;). P looked like a happy drowned rat afterward and the raspberry bushes survived, so I guess not such an epic fail after all...

Wowsah, kinda weird:)

Ok, I gotta admit, Zia is kinda blowing us away ;). I know doing stuff "early" means absolutely zilch and they're all on the same page at the age of two, blahblahblah... but that knowledge isn't stopping my surprised look.

Like tonight, when she asked to nurse and we went to cuddle on the lounge. She started looking over my shoulder out the window and grinning and laughing. It was cute so I started giggling. Then she raised her hand, waved and said "hi.".

Coincidence. Obviously. But I looked out the window just in case ;). Just in time to see our neighbor on his balcony wave at her and smile.

On the way to the playground 10 minutes later? Wave and "hi" to the passerby-s. Hmm. Insert surprised face ;)

Then, at the playground, a little friend of P's gave Zia a mini soccer ball to play with. She picked it up and carried it around. Then sat it down and dribbled it across the playground. Fer realz.

Of course, she has to wave "bye-bye" to everyone she interacts with, too. Which, seriously, is a normal, easily picked up skill. IF you've been coached a bit. True to form, she just started doing it, unprompted, a couple of weeks ago.

Its like she totally remembers her last go here and is just picking up where she left off. Honestly, its a little weird.

But occasionally cute ;). When we were walking home with my mom last week, a party's music caught Z's attention and she stopped in her tracks and started dancing. Right there on the sidewalk. And then it was all we could do to get her to head home. She just kept going the other way, totally pied pipered by the party.

She is nine freaking months. I wanna be one of those preening, proud mama hens that prides herself and her gene pool. Instead, I'm the mama at the park looking longingly at the sweet babe stuck on her blanket by her perfectly, developmentally appropriate inability... while Zia tries to climb a chain link fence with the big kids.

She better be the cuddliest little toddler you've ever met, cuz I don't think my mother could handle me going through labor again and I'm bound and determined to get more baby snuggles before 40!!!!

At least Phoenix finds it full-on fabulous. He is So Proud of her, it just bursts out of him when he shows her off. The fact that she'll play tag and train with him these days only elevates her in his infinite esteem :). And in those minutes, when they are circling the table, giggling wildly together, I'm (briefly) happy she's so capable;). And at least she cuddles while she sleeps ;)