Ella Update

Ella is still coming to play most Tuesdays after school. The child is so unbelievably sweet. Unfortunately, an hour and a half is just about enough time for Mr. Slow-to-transition to finally get comfortable around her and start to play :) producing playdates occasionally more akin to an awkward blind date than a bouncy house of fun. But his internal clock wasn't the only palisade to playdate success. P was routinely shying away from Ella interaction on Tuesdays at the beginning of the month. Not wanting to put him on the spot and increase the issue, I tried mentioning it, very lightly. "Mama, (big sigh) I just like playing with you better. You're more funner."

And while its true that I'm a fair bit spazzy, and the child enjoys this, and Ella is fairly calm and quiet, she certainly Tries to follow P's joy. So the little man and I chatted about it and I gently encouraged him to take this very small time out of our week together to let someone else into his life. He basically told me he was feeling deserted when Ella arrives (I try to stay out of the way and just clean the kitchen and make dinner. Obvious desertion :) But I could see how he got that. And then it hit me! When Ella visits I don't play with her. I greet her, feed her a snack, ask her a few questions and turn to my work. P hangs out with us for the first bit and then often slides into his swing in a solitary fashion. Duh! I wasn't mentoring very good playmanship!

So the next time Ella joined us, I joined the two kids for some fun. She perked up a bit, P interacted more. It was a smashing success. Since my main goal is for P to better enjoy peer play (that means minus mama!) I've slowly pulled back my interaction. P has followed suit slightly, but not entirely. And sweet Ella, she follows P's lead perfectly, getting bouncy when he feels playful, retreating to the couch to pet the cat when he's aloof. Its a surprisingly slow process, something I hadn't expected, but there aren't really any downsides, so we're sticking with it.

And, though I could be reading into things here, his comfort level with new kids seems to be improving, which is the other outcome I'd been hoping for....