The Little Man

I feel like the blog has read more like "The Zia Show" than the adventures of P and Z. The Grands and fam know him, love him, can chat with him by phone... Whereas Z was just a squishy blob when we visited. And I seem to have an intense need for fam to know our daughter, the baby stranger :)

But there is a good few blog posts percolating, just about P. And his evolution into brotherhood. Into boyhood, as well.

To sum? Less rocky than I'd have guessed, but more confusing than I have answers for. Sigh.

He loves his sister. And, until recently, that was definitely the overwhelming emotion here. But in the last month, well.... I think I may be running out of the good graces I've saved up during his first six years. He's started telling her he wants to get rid of her so that he can have me to himself. Ouch.

Fortunately, she has no clue :). Yet. But I'd like to "fix" this before she catches on - to keep her infinite admiration for P intact(ish).

But I'm not sure exactly what to do. Or even What the main issue is.

I think being so busy on the house for the last few months wore on the Little Man. Less time for him all around. The solution there is easy, less house, more kid stuff. Done.

There's also Zia getting bigger, getting more real interaction from me, rather than just bundled on my front. She's a little person now! And she lays claim to me as such (pushing the cat, P and even E away from me and then eyeing them from my arms with a look that says "Watch your place, buddy."). She's moving to one nap, nabbing P's twice daily Mama time and leaving him to only one. Honestly, his dilemma could be as simple as It Sucks To Share. But what to be done there???

And then there is the aggression issue. The one I'm really struggling with. The only real bone of contention between P and I each day. Because, honestly? I just don't Get It. I was singing and drawing and playing as a kid. Typically ensconced in Making or, at the very least, just Being. Don't get me wrong - I was no angel and saw a few fistfights my scrawny little self (I won ;). But if I saw a bug, I built it a house rather than burning it with a magnifying glass.

Putting fireworks in frogs' mouths? Licking a battery? Shooting BB guns? Tossing dirt clods AT someone? Beating anything and everything with sticks while on walks? These things just never.crossed. my. mind. EVER. I'm not crying Mars vs Venus here, or that I was a daily delight, but, seriously, I'm feeling a great divide many a day here...

And I'm pretty sure P feels me feeling it. Nobody likes to be judged by their mother and best friend. And I'm not Trying to judge... but when shit starts getting whacked and stuff is breaking and he's booming his Evil Villain laugh, well, I'm finding back pats aren't part of my parlance...

And, of course this was all there before Zia. But it didn't matter much when the recipient of infinite orneriness was a petite pink monster. The maniacal laughter and aggressive chase is different when it's your daughter.

Especially for E. It bugs the ever living love out of him. But I had to point out, *this* was how he and his fam always played with P! Growling and chasing and playing monster. P has effortlessly adopted the adult role, morphing into monster for the toddler in tow. It's just unfortunate that he lacks the judgement the actual adults employ to safely play their part. Corners and edges and speed are safety considerations the Little Man has not.

And... he seems to positively relish startling her and, frankly? He doesn't watch with *too* much dismay when she goes splat. (There may even be, sigh, laughter.). There's where that early mentoring of monster can't be the case and veers instead toward seeming aggression. And then I get all hot and bothered and of course he doesn't feel connected when he's getting chastised for his sister's safety and I'm not feeling connected (since my spawn suddenly seems Evil - sigh) and, and, and blech.

So it could be all *that*, too ;).

And, to hear other men talk, these are all normal actions, not warning signs of Dahmer-like damnations. But, still... I am having trouble, for the first time in P's little life, "getting" my guy. Tackling a ten month old seems so wildly inappropriate that I'm (almost;) speechless.

But when my infinitely (now) sweet Father In Law shares tales of shocking his toddler sister, I harbor high hopes P, too, will grow to be a great man, maniacal laugh or no. I just want to know how I can best help him get there, despite him having a sister :).

P and Z, playing "follow the leader.". A great moment because, though they play a Lot together, this was an unusually safe activity for them Both :)