Three: A Social Milestone

Since returning 2 weeks ago, P has played with his friends more than ever. And for the first time in his short life, the term "played with" is really appropriate! Normally, going to the park or playgroup was just a way to get him Near other children. Parallel play mostly. The occasional game of chase breaking the monotony of just running along side one another. But he's made some friends who are a wee bit older than him and now he can imagine with them as he imagines with us and its fun to watch.

Last week we played with Malek at the boys' indoor paradise, aka the Transit Museum. There are buses to drive and fill with gas, engines to watch work, old toy trains on display, decades worth of turnstyles to turn and a fascinating display of the subway's creation. If that isn't a morning full of fun, then you can head down the subway steps (the museum is housed in an unused sub stop) to the sub platform and run in and out of subway cars dating back 100 years.

We also played with his buddy, Benny, who Phoenix adores. They share a love of Cars and trains :) After some parallel play with trains, some car racing in the halls and then some bed bouncing/stuffed animal throwing the two started to plan and plot with their cars, talking amongst themselves, lining cars against the wall and zooming off down the halls. About the time Phoenix was really feeling comfortable, we were walking that line of overstaying our welcome and he had to be coaxed away from his friend...

Tuesday's playgroup supported my newly formed theory that P shines most with long playdates. It takes him a while to warm up to his grandparents each time he sees them, so it makes sense that he doesn't feel comfortable jumping right into the throng of things on a playdate. Tuesday, the roomful of boys played nicely with their individual cars or trains while the two girls wove elaborate stories and shrieked and giggled together. (I'm going to save the discussion on the seemingly obvious differences here, but it has been interesting to watch.) As kids started to trickle out and the clock ticked on, P finally started to play with those around him. We were the last to leave and P had to be coaxed away once again....

Wednesday morning I assumed we'd be in for the day after so much action. Surprisingly, after a few hours of play P announced he wanted to invite Malek over. Last week's playdate with Malek had gone swimmingly, so I ignored my gut and grabbed the phone. And it all started well enough. But Malek was in the mood for parallel play and moved from toy to toy rather than playing With Phoenix. P started to get grabby. So I fed the boys hoping the vibe was nothing more than hungry tummies. P tried some imaginative play but Malek wasn't into Rapunzel. We made a long train set with adequate room for them to both roam, but they crashed their trains together. They skirmished over squishy fish. Finally, P announced he was ready for Malek to leave. Linda was on the same timeline as P, but Malek was not. He floated from toy to toy, happily oblivious of expectations. P restated his preferences. Finished waiting, he walked over, grabbed his bowl of lentils and dumped it on Malek's head. Lovely Linda thought this was hilarious, I was mortified, as was Malek, and Phoenix felt vindicated. He may have reached a social milestone, but I'll have to be more careful when he reaches his social fill (or for his lentils) from now on...