Social Success

Ok, these pics totally don't go with this story, but they're what I've got ;) They are from P's Wednesday adventure (that's BB and BB's homemade Mama riding in P's adventure vehicle (that he adores - he loves that its from recycled materials, he loves that it makes sounds using his pushing energy, he loves that BB rides in it:) BB and his Mama went to the park to fly a tiny kite that P had just made for the pink monster. It was still cool outside, versus the next day, featured below, that gave the child seriously pink cheeks. Whoops!!!)


While the Little Man has tolerated play-dates this winter, even inviting friends into the sanctuary of his home, he has remained steadfastly uninterested in group get-togethers. A class here, a performance there, sure. But a park day? Not so much.

But I hoped he'd be game for this Thursday's homeschooler meet-up in our park. It was close and easy, the first warm day everyone would get together - so many of his friends would be there! Wednesday he said sure. Thursday morning? Umm, let's just go on an adventure instead...

I really didn't want to push him, but I was just sure he'd grown so much this winter that he would have a ball. And, though I do the best I can as a playmate, I'm still not five :) So I asked him to just try it. Ok, I kinda begged. He grinned and said sure, and we shook on it that we would leave the instant he wanted.

Ha. Hahahahahaha. We came home SIX happy hours later! With a friend in tow! He had a blast. (Of course, it helped that I was centered for the first time in two weeks :) This insomnia stuff is kicking my patootie. But on this particular day, I'd spent my night time hours meditating rather than berating myself for the past day's bleary eyed missteps. Ahh, what a difference a centered Mama makes... despite my claims that it isn't all about me;) ) He kept me close when we arrived (it was a big scene and all :) but then, his play was buddy based for most of the afternoon! Sure, there was that one huge wrestling match where two enormous five year olds repeatedly jumped me, squealing... but otherwise he ran. He climbed trees and played monkey with friends. Another mom and a group of kids played a little baseball - and he joined them (though, due to his non native New Yorker parents, he called it basketball...) He helped the bigger kids build a fort. He dug worms with a friend and another sweet mum. When a friend cried because he wasn't ready to leave (and his younger brother was), P offered us up as babysitters to keep his buddy close (and he did! They coordinated for the afternoon, P taking his duties quite seriously.) And then, for a long time, he sat with two of his closest friends, just snacking, trading foods, and telling each other how much they liked one another :) It was precious. I couldn't hear a lot of it (I kept sneaking off as far as I could go, close enough for him to be comfortable, but far enough for him to focus elsewhere ;) but what I did hear had me tearing up, or cracking up....

And all of this peer socializing got me thinking. He has friends without siblings who are so social its silly and friends from bigger families who are still having a hard time figuring out social etiquette, so I'd figured his social stigma wasn't an "only" thing. And there are plenty of schooled kids who get labeled "shy" as well as lots of robust homeschoolers. So I'd long ago reasoned that being an only, or homeschooling, well, those life choices, while obviously shaping him, weren't necessarily shorting him (despite what many will say - cuz when a kid doesn't fall into the "norm" in every way, its the stuff that's outside that "norm" that seems the most likely suspect. ) Despite knowing all of this to be true, and I know this sounds awful (I really do love him just as he is!!!), it was still lovely to see him running around doing kid stuff, with kids, without much concern. And we're both looking forward to doing it again next week :)