Holiday cheer

Well, the upside to a baby waking freakishly early one morning is that she is already down for a nap before the sun (or my son) rises, giving the Mama a minute to blog.  If only I drank coffee or something, seems like a moment to enjoy that sort of thing ;)

Speaking of consuming, quick update.  I tested wheat this weekend and she seemed to handle it with a big ol' shrug.  No noticeable difference at all!  This was soooo huge for us, since gluten lurks everywhere.  This success went right to our heads and three days later, much urged by my dairy lovin' boys, I added cheese.  While her behavior is still sunny, her bizness was pretty crazy yesterday.  E, rarely the optimist around here, claimed coincidence and urged more dairy :)  Since we weren't dealing with all day shrieking or even bloody stools, I complied and am hopeful that today's bizness will be back to normal....  At any rate, I really think her digestive system is finally maturing and we may be back to (semi;) normal soon.  Ahh:) (Update - since I have yet to publish this post:  Looks like I'll be dairy free for a while longer.  After 2 days of dairy, Zia was pretty miserable, her acid reflux was back and she would not be put down for a minute.  But there was little shrieking, so its still a lot better :)  I think I'll try again in another month, once her digestive system has a little longer to develop...)

Now a quick xmas update:)

After sucking the light fantastic for Halloween (greatest guilt inducer that holiday?  You know, the holiday that my kid looks forward to alll year, the one he'd dreamed of having a house to decorate in celebration of for years, the one I barely made it out the door for...)  was walking the excited 7 year old, (donned in last year's costume) to meet his buddies for trick-or treating, only to be met at the door by FOUR homemade costumes.  Fully tailored.  And a bunch of fun holiday crafts just lurking inside the front door.  I hope P didn't feel as deflated as I did.)  Anyway, after sucking for Halloween, I was bound and determined to get Solstice and Xmas nailed.  So, as the child pathetically gathered fallen evergreen branches during our nature walk (to build himself a Christmas tree...) I swore to make this dream come true and get a real damn tree this year.  (He had informed me his ficus wouldn't cut the mustard this time around ;)

I even offered a tree cutting experience at a no-spray farm owned by some unschoolers up here.  But we quickly realized a baby screaming in her car seat would undermine the holiday spirit and just walked to the store across the street ;)  Phoenix pointed out that our new tree had many more branches than his ficus, necessitating more branch bling.  And lights, of course.  He was beside himself decorating the thing.  And thrilled with his results.

I'm a fairly big Scrooge concerning this crazy consumerist holiday - I mean, we aren't even Christian!  But even I had to admit that the glow and the gorgeous smell were pretty sweet :)  And the kid was delighted, kudos enough for me.

Santa was questioned to the hilt this year.  I dodged in style.  He asked the jolly elf for a stuffed minotaur.  Then he told me he should ask for something else, but not tell me what he wanted, so if it wasn't under the tree from Santa, then he'd know.  I said ok.  Downbeat.  "Maybe we'll do that next year, Mama."  :)  Then he informed me that if he received the one he had seen at a store, he'd know it was a ruse.  I had to laugh at my luck.  The one he'd seen was no longer carried by any merchants, freakin' anywhere.  So I'd gone to my favorite gift giving entity, etsy.  Whalah, handmade minotaur with groovy gold eyelashes (perfect for P!)  It totally looks elvin made.

So I told him to wait and see what Santa and his elves produced and then make his decision.  He was visibly relieved that it wasn't the widely sold doll Christmas morning.  But not quite satisfied.  All day he asked.  E finally told him that it was us, Santa isn't real.  Know what he did?  He came up and hit E!

"Are you frustrated I told you Santa isn't real, bud?" E asked him.  "Yes."

And off he marched to the tree.  He stood there for a minute.  He still soooo wants to believe.  When he asked again a second later, we lied like the good parents we want to be :)  He didn't ask again for the rest of the day.  Gawd help me, I hate this holiday.

But it was fun giving him woodworking tools.  He has a great little toolbox now with a hand drill, saw, screwdrivers, detail hammers, clamps and the sweetest cloth measuring tape on a wheel that I've ever seen.  Now we just have to set him up a spot on the porch with some wood and clock how long it takes to get to the Emergency room...

Solstice was lovely this year.  We took a late afternoon walk to watch the sun go down, thanking the world that the days would get longer :)  We gathered pinecones to decorate with nut butter and seeds to hang from our apple tree for the animals to appreciate during the winter.  And we revelled in the greenness here even on the first day of winter.  A rose bush was still full of blossoms - I kid you not.  I mean, its chilly here most days, and not green like the spring, of course, but its So Beautiful compared to the bland brown and grey of Kansas or New York.  I had expected the rain to set in by the time we returned and only leave come summer.  And while the ground is damp and I hear rain on the roof at night, we're out each day with the sun peaking through the clouds and the beauty boundless.  I'm thinking my gypsy heart could bear to settle here for a bit....

Solstice walk

 

I spoke too soon....

Ha. I felt all capable for about two seconds before the Universe pulled the rug out and chuckled heartily. Life with two for most of this week was.... hhhhhard. Zia seems to have reacted to my egg eating after all and deteriorated over the course of a week. The rash stuck around, her nightime sleep went to hell, and after a few nights of sleeplessness, her naps went to shit too. "School" and crafting during all day screaming, not so much :(. Poor P, poor Z.

I've gone back to the bare minimums for food and am caught... Bad weeks knock me down - its extra hard with so little sleep for me to be on top of my game for P while simultaneously helping Z. And I hate sucking:). So I'm tempted to not add any foods for forever... and yet tempted to go for another biggie: wheat. I'm bummed about tomatoes and eggs, but wheat, well, that might make up for things;).

Everyone is better by tonight - the boys are both voting for me to get some balls and add something in tomorrow.. What? Tired of chicken?!

The kids (and P's Solstice gift - a handmade "life size" BB) enjoy a boat ride after breakfast...

Life with two...

I've heard two is more than twice as hard.  Yup.  But more than twice as nice?  Yup again :)  Still, I feel like I'm just now getting to life with two.  The first month my mom was saving our ass keeping P's life lucky.  Then there was the lost month of crying (when I began to believe two was more than two hundred times harder and going to be more than I could ever succeed at...) Then there was the month in Kansas when P could run around with whatever awesome family member requested his presence (or, in my mom's case, he just stalked her all day:)

Now we're home and I'm trying to get our groove on.  Giving each one what they need is a tricky dance for me.  I tend to try and saturate a child, feeling really guilty if I can't do something for them.  For me and unschooling, saying yes wasn't the trick.  Learning when to honestly say "no, I can't" has been the trick.  Pregnancy helped me nail that one, since I just couldn't do so much.  A tough pregnancy was a real blessing here, prepping P for less, or at least different, Mama status.  I am infinitely thankful for that, in hindsight ;)

But less Mama floor tussling and toy tossing isn't the only change for him these days.  Our ability to do anything, anytime is gone.  For a while at least ;)  I started realizing over the last couple months that the free-flow of our unschooling days might leave P feeling like he's  drifting in open seas of negligence rather than just free now.  He needs reliability and rhythm to his days.  Solid times with Mama he can depend on.  And since babies tend to be fussiest in the evenings, combined with the business of dinner and dishes, E's post-work availability didn't really solve the situation.

So we're crafting our asses off.  I've set up a craft for each day of the week.  I've tried to make at least one, if not two, depend on something from the outdoors, so we also have a couple of nature walks a week on the nicest days.

One of our walks this week.  Flowers in December.  Love it.

 Despite the deciduous dropping their leaves, its still crazy green.

 No Brooklyn duckies here.  These guys came up towards us as we went down to the pond.... and walked right past us to forage in the woods!   No joke.  Apparently, they aren't every toddler's past time here...

 Must I point out how many photos I have of the child throwing stuff into bodies of water???

And we're learning to read.  (Why we?  I mean P :)  The Little Man has started requesting reading help.  He's ready.  The age is perfect, in my mind (though I'm totally comfortable with an even later reader.  I figure, once you start reading, you can't undo it.  From then on, your life is seen through words.  Covers (books, cereal, whatever) are no longer pictures and design and color, they are w.o.r.d.s.  Everything else takes a backseat to the mind jumping to translate the words.  And I don't want to rush that - there's a LOT to be learned translating the world in all of the other ways kids can.  Even in pre-reading ways, like general word shape, location, basic memorization, etc.)  So, for us, there has been an appreciation of just loving non-reading and all of its visual gifts.  But there is also the research that supports this so splendidly.  And real life examples, like the fabulousness of Finland, where they don't start reading until 7.  Or the Waldorf way, also starting the reading journey at 7.

But most importantly, there is P.  And his preference to start just now :)  So we do about 20 minutes of reading readiness stuff every day (P calls it "playing school") while Zia hangs off of me for her afternoon nap, before our craft.  And P jumps for joy each time I say its time :)  I started with the most basics of basics (the letters) despite his seeming ability to read quite a few words, so there aren't any gaps that later frustrate him.  He loves it.  We'll see if he feels the same way when we venture into unchartered territory.

So it seems that two may be possible.  At least while Zia is still napping a bit and not mobile ;)  Healthy foods are on the table and the Little Man is eating well again (for a few weeks it was a sad state of affairs.  I couldn't' get food together and he was eating crap which led to eating even crappier:)  We're getting out to enjoy the gorgeous Pacific Northwest (even if its just to the amazing park up the block and the sidewalk to the store).  The kid is getting solid Mama time, and projects that spawn (of course) even more projects.  And when I need to change Zia or bounce her to sleep (yes, she still only goes to sleep if I bounce around like a ding-dong, but it takes a much shorter period of time and there's rarely loud shrieks:) the kid's cup is (relatively) filled and he doesn't blink an eye.  Phew.

And this means I'm not wracked with guilt every night.  Cuz I tend that way :)

Zia: her 2nd month

Either I do this now, a couple days early or.... who knows when!

I absolutely can't believe her newborn phase will be over in two days.  Except for that month that we didn't know about the food issues (those few weeks seemed to have no beginning or end;) this period has absolutely flown.  Too fast.  Ethan and I are savoring every single tiny squiggly snuggle.  And while I'm excited to see her personality emerging and meet the little girl she is going to be, it makes me a little sad to think of her as not baby.  It sounds silly, I know.  But E agreed.  Its such a sweet period, its impossible to imagine it ending.

And at this rate, it doesn't seem like we have that long left.  She seems hell bent on catching up to her big bro.  She adores her favorite trick (flipping onto her belly) so much she attempts to do it, regardless of location.  Then she raises up as high as she can get and squeals with happiness, surveying the kingdom she was missing while lying flat on her back.  She flaps her arms and legs and does a little belly airplane and then claws at the floor, trying to propel herself along.  When this fails, she rolls belly over back over belly or back to her back and scooches.  I'm seeing baby-proofing in our very near future :(

She is such a different baby than P was (who was awesome in his own way:) that its shocking to me.  He hated to be put down for an instant (Zia loves a little floor time, is totally content to talk at us from the floor and suck on her hand).  Hated his diaper changes (she LOVES her diaper changes.  LOVES).  Rarely ever smiled (Zia has the most responsive social smile - it makes me smile just thinking about it). Strangers used the words "serious," "intense," and "old soul," for him and his long stares.  Zia smiles and coos and looks everywhere and gets "alert," "sweet!" and "sooo sweet."

And she really is.  (Actually, she was crazy "alert" from the get-go.  It seems to just be her personality type - to look and look.  The night she was born, after her head made its entrance but her shoulders were awaiting the next contraction, her eyes were already open and I could feel her head turning, back and forth, round and round like a little owlet.  She was already looking around our room, scoping out her new life. ( Which I get, because I find ridiculous amounts of joy in just. looking.  Shadows, shapes, curves, patterns, contrasts.  I think its half the reason I'm an artist.)   I feel so bad that we didn't figure out P's triggers at this age, because its amazing to see what a difference it can make in a baby.  Poor kid was too miserable to be labeled sweet :)

But Zia isn't miserable (anymore).  She's laughing.  Typically, at her brother.  He yucks it up, bouncing off of the walls, making funny faces, and she just laughs and laughs.  I make snorting noises when I kiss her neck and she just giggles.  But, her giggles aren't really baby peals as much as old lady smoker guffaws.  Its kinda funny.

And speaking of her voice, she uses it all. of. the. time.  Yah, she coos and goes "gah" and stuff and sometimes E positively melts.  But I really love seeing her try and "talk" rather than just cry.  Its way fun after her rough beginning that she goes days without crying.  She just gives us warning fusses.  Like, "hey, I'm getting pissed here... just warnin'"  And if she is on the floor and starts to get agitated and I'm caught without my wrap on (a rarity, but it happens when I change in and out of my pajamas ;), all I have to do is walk up to her and say, "You want in the wrap, Zia?" and wave that green fabric over her and she stops fussing and smiles and waits patiently while I wrap myself up for her.  When I realized how well she understood things a couple of weeks ago, I started asking her, "milk?  You need some milk?" when she fussed and I thought she might be hungry.  Within two days she would quiet when I said this if she was actually hungry.  She's nowhere near to having the physical control to sign yet (unfortunately!) but this is a real help in trouble shooting since she is also nowhere near a scheduled feeder :)

And speaking of food.  We've added a few foods in the last month: green beans, pumpkin seeds, beef, and cranberries.  And this week I added (drum roll): eggs.  Big, Big deal here.  She did seem to get a little face rash, but that was it, so I think eggs in stuff should be fine and she'll be good with them soon enough.  Yams, potatoes, tomatoes, apricots and salmon didn't work as well and the vote is still out on kale.  But onward and upward :)  If I can just be patient enough to wait 4 days for each new food.  This whole ordeal is so good for my self-control.  And probably for my health too.  I'm able to go on tiny bits of sleep, busy all day without sitting down or taking any breaks and I still feel great.  Hell, I've even grown to love millet.  And found that amaranth popped is a nice snack.  And that mustard makes everything better.  And an apple tastes (after being totally sugar free for over two months) unbelievably sweet for dessert.  I really only yearn for the ease of eating out occasionally.  And maybe a little more variety ;)

Last three month detail - per usual for babies this age, she is staying awake a Lot longer during the day.  And she's starting to nap in at least semi-consistent times.  Give or take a couple of hours ;) but getting an at least general schedule down.  Two short naps in the morning and one longer one in the afternoon, followed by a dinnertime cat-nap and then to bed sometime between 8 and 11.  So, obviously not a reeeeal solid routine, but its getting there :)

Little woodland napper on a walk.

My only complaint is her nighttime gas.  Holy gosh.  The kid is so tooty halfway through the night that she thrashes to beat the band.  Scratches herself, wakes me every five minutes.  I don't' know what's causing it or what would help her.  If anyone reading this has ANY suggestion, please comment with the cure...

But bottom line: this age is awesome.  All consuming and adorable and absolutely wonderful.

Freakshow flyers, take two...

I'm not doing so hot on the weekly posts I promised myself...  Lots of pics piling up here that I want to journal!  Now I just need time!  Lol.

We made it back.  But with a few bumps ;)  I figured the baby would be rough, turns out the seven year old had the hardest time :(

P is a pro traveller.  Seriously, pro.  But he started with a headache at the Wichita airport...  I shrugged it off as hunger (he hadn't eaten well all day) or sinus (he's still stuffy from his last cold).  But when Grandpapa rubbed P's back and P pushed him away, I was shocked.  Sooooo not P.  And definitely not P with one of his favorite people on earth.  Moments later as we tried to go through security, he was almost falling apart (and the baby decided she was suddenly starving)...

By the time we were half way to Denver, he had spiked a high fever and was the picture of pale misery.  By the time we landed in Denver, the child was in tears.  By the time we made it it our gate (after hovering by trash cans and carried by Superman) he was actually wailing.  The child never cries in public.  He (sadly) hates to even cry in front of E.  I was seriously shocked and a bit worried.  His head hurt him so badly he was nauseous and clambered onto my lap.  Not one for most meds, I sent Superman on a serious hunt for Ibuprofen.  

Drugged and lethargic, P patiently waited for our next flight.  That was delayed.  And delayed again.  Zia decided she needed to be bounced non-stop, so this was actually a blessing.  

After dragging our carry-ons, kids and cat onto a full flight, the child dazed out... only to barf half way across country.  (Fortunately, seeing his face, I'd already stuck a barf bag in front of him.  Honestly, I'd always wanted to see somebody use one of those things.  Childhood curiosity checked off of the list ;)  The baby didn't' have any interest in sleeping, each announcement woke her all day.  So she flirted and cooed at passengers until she was miserable and finally zonked.  Until the next announcement.

And after doing a stellar job of holding her poo all day, she finally erupted with business as we landed.  Which necessitated a quite lengthy cleaning and changing job in the bathroom.  Which meant the evening announcement for "Passengers arriving from Denver on Frontier airlines, please pick up your baggage, Frontier is closing" was meant for us :)  (Insert mental image of as many carry-ons as possible flopping behind two people carrying kids (and a quite pissed cat).  At top speed, through an empty airport.)  And you know how much I love Portland?  When we got to the empty baggage area, the lady thanked us for coming to get our bags.  In a sincere way.  People are just freakin' nice here (not that Brooklyn didn't have its perks, just saying').

And then we made it home.  Intact ;)  You know, I had three separate people come up to me with pitying remarks that day.  (Sweetly put pitying remarks, like, "Oh, you must be exhausted.")  But I have to admit, I was surprised each time.  Writing it out like this it sounds a bit nightmarish (and I love a little flair for written drama), but it was actually a pretty nice family outing.  Really.  I just love my family so freakin much, getting to spend the day with all three, squished up next to them where they can't get away from me, its pretty sweet :)

BFFs...

Every day, P chooses some new dream of Zia's future that excites him. Crawling, running, rock climbing, signing, talking... My favorite from this week? "I'm excited for when Zia is big and you say to me, 'Phoenix, go call Artemisia to dinner!'". (He luuuuvs getting to tell E to stop working, it's dinnertime :)

So, when Zia decided this week that all of that lovely smiling time spent on her back was boring, P was Thrilled. (**Everything** is one step closer to ~playmate~ :)

So she flips herself over, raises her chest and shrieks with happiness. But the girl wants to move. And, obviously, at 11 weeks, she's not going anywhere :). She pushes with her little feet and tries to yank forward with her hands, to no avail. But P is there to cheer her on! And this morning, as she did her tricks during a diaper change, P instructed me to "help her Mama!! She's trying to get to me! Show her how to crawl!".

Not yet, dear son :). I'm loving me some newborn squishiness for a twitch longer;)

Fingers and Toes - oh my!

I laid Zia down in an upholstered chair for a minute the other day and when I turned back around she had one of those awesome "OMG AHHA!" faces on. The texture of the chair clicked in her wee brain and you could just tell - she now gets touch. How can watching these moments be this satisfying?!?! Love it!

This makes me happy...