Portland

P, at the only "class" he has ever loved on a (semi) regular basis: Book-group.  His adoration for Lily, I'm guessing, was a driving force there ;) Above, they stood side by side, saying nothing, just looking out the window together.  It was so sweet.  Fortunately, book-group just ended, so our leaving doesn't leave this behind...


P asked me today why we are moving.  Insert inner chuckle.  After all, it was the kid's requests that planted the seed a few years ago...

Back when I knew other mums that were talking of moving.  More space, a yard, easier... well, everything ;)  And I couldn't fathom not being in Brooklyn.  I love Brooklyn.

But easy it is not.  At least, not with a kid.  The level of creativity required to come up with indoor, fourth floor solutions to many of the child's wants is often beyond me.  Schlepping 20 blocks to be able to dig in some dirt and plant some seeds is unbelievably tiring in the summer sun.  Balancing boxes of groceries and a child on a scooter, uphill on ice, for 15 blocks isn't a breeze, either.  And trying to squeeze another toy into a one and a half (well, here, some call it a one and a half, where I'm from, that half is a freakin' walk in closet;) bedroom flat is sometimes just funny.  Never mind the fact that the child has no chance of existing in nature without a close-by watchful eye... and a lot of passersby judgement.  I can't even imagine my childhood without hours of independent time, digging in the dirt in our yard, unencumbered by nothing other than my little brother...

But I also can't imagine driving to the grocer.  Having lots of extra, resource gobbling space.  Living without farmer's markets.  Without walking, well, everywhere.  I love city living for the population density and all that it brings.  Except the lack of space, and green and freedom....

I've only known either/or.  But life is rarely either/or, if you look hard enough.  So we started looking.  We wanted to make the life we wanted, realize it, eventually at least ;)  And dreamers that we are, we started dreaming.

Walkable.  Green.  Both visually and environmentally.  (There's nothing worse than an uphill battle to do something as basic as recycling, never mind vermicomposting or backyard chickening.)  Nature. (The kind without hypodermic needles and condoms decorating it.  Not that we don't absolutely love our park!  But, still, if you're gonna dream...)  And you gotta be able to get to that Nature easily (rather than 3 trains and a hike along the highway, like we experience now.)  Affordable.  (Because NYC bleeds you dry like a sensual vampire).  Liberal enough that we don't walk around with round peg/square hole issues daily (I love it when I can ask about the origin of my food without anyone being confused or angry:).  Diverse.  Passionate about the arts.  Downtown oriented.  Heavily leaning towards independent businesses.  P's request: Beaches.  Oh, but who am I really kidding.  Walkable was queen for me.  Please, gawd, don't put me in a car on a daily basis.  Please....

Everyone has a different list.  My father is so very pleased with his location choices that he can't even fathom why anyone would choose differently (which is kinda cute;).  So this dream wasn't a judgement call on anywhere, just a dream of where we could be inspired and true.  We didn't know if we could ever get to wherever this would be, or even where this was!  But we wanted to dream of ways and look...

My first choice was a little city in Ecuador.  Picked through lots of research and reading.  E was sold... for a bit ;)  Sigh.  So we moved on.  Sticking to the US, our list narrows things down pretty effectively to the coasts.  And the south's (generally) more conservative nature and my hatred of freezing winters started swinging our search westward...

So we took our trip last summer.  It was, honestly, just a family trip.  But E and I admitted to one another it was, on some level, a scouting mission ;)  Something just to plant some seeds for someday.  We figured we were still a few years off from a change.  And we figured somewhere in California, probably Berkeley, lay our future, our little nirvana.

But we fell for Portland.  And Oregon's empty beaches.  And the fog.  And the mountains and the trees that called to us like only one other place we've ever been...  The setting was exactly what we wanted.  And the city, it was very, very homey.  Yards with chicken coops, situated on bike lanes and bus paths and Max line stops to little shops and green grocers.  A real downtown, that, granted, seemed a ghost town compared to Manhattan, but, give a small city a break ;)  And nature, everywhere.  Well, now we had a reference point for our dream...

And after a lot of hoping and dreaming, its finally happening.  Moving, of course, is far less dreamy than dreaming about moving, but that will pass ;)

For the child, it started with euphoria.  He dreamed of the things his parents had had and no longer wanted.  A car to ride in when the schlep is long.  A yard, to himself, that could be dug in without park's personnel pissing and moaning.  A  floor he could stomp upon when mad (rather than being a ceiling to those living below..)  He was dreaming of the possibilities.

And then a friend reacted rather badly to his exciting news.  Telling him all of the reasons it sucked.  I was too shocked to save him.  And the damage was done.  It was a couple of months before he stopped growling when the move was mentioned.  I was more than mortified anyone could be so thoughtless, but tried to be patient while he processed...

Meanwhile, E and I casually talked about the possibilities that excited us.  What we were looking forward to.  Sometimes the child seemed swayed by our energy, sometimes he was staunchly angst ridden.

Then, finally and most fortunately, we found a place to rent.  With a secret passageway.  And a cupboard under the stairs.... Just Like Harry Potter.  Brooklyn wha?

Just like that, he was golden.  The tides turned and he started dreaming and planning.  This isn't to say that he doesn't still fret a bit.  And when he thinks of a toy that is already in boxes, well, hell hath no fury....  But the future became a little bit less of a black hole that was senselessly swallowing up everyone he loves.

Cuz that part is hard.  I love to move, and its even putting some kinks in my mojo.  We've never lived anywhere this long, E and I.  Five years.  In the same spot.  Unprecedented.  (Our previous record was a whopping 3 years;)  And the rootless gypsies have become a wee bit root-bound, but in a good way.  Our block is our community.  The kids play ball in the street.  We chat with neighbors in the park.  Not to mention sharing a house with two other families!  These people, to P, are his extended family.  Then there is the homeschooling community that we so love...

But the three of us are kinda loners, a compact little self-sufficient clan.  So when I get wrapped up thinking about all of the people we are leaving behind, I stop and think about how often we actually see most of them.  Even our family here.  Not too darn often.

And when I get weepy about loosing the Brooklyn Bridge or the year round Farmer's Market, I think about how often I make it to either of those (E does the shopping since the child hates the schlep and hates me leaving;).  Ditto most of our amazing restaurants and museums.  Ditto the crazy extensive listings of possibilities for kids.  This kid likes to stay close to home more days than not.  He likes projects that take space and make large messes.  He likes exploring, just he, BB and I, in our "backyard," the park.  He likes HOME.  And that can be anywhere.

So off we go the the affordable, green, walkable (but not diverse, sob.  I mean, I guess after NYC, anywhere is gonna seem pretty lilly livered, but still, it will be quite an adjustment, and one that makes me nervous...) nature accessed, backyard sporting, beach and mountain hugged, downtown based beauty of Portland.  Hopefully this will take better than the last time we left NYC.  We made it about 4 months before we decided we had to move back... ;)

P, in his "studio."  Space is so tight, the child's art area is under our desk....  And our place isn't even small, by NY standards!  E and I are giddy with the thought of the space we are moving into, even though it is still staunchly resource responsible ;)

On the way back to the sub, just off Houston street, I saw this billboard.  We live in the most "kid friendly" area of NYC.  So much so that T-mobil used it as their byline.  But, its all relative, because nowhere in NYC is actually "kid friendly."  Its gonna be so weird to be somewhere where people aren't offended that you have a child...