Today I will Fly

So, I posted a while back here ) about P beginning his reading journey. I mentioned that I half expected this to move slowly, if at all... boy was I wrong. Three weeks later he has read a number of books By Himself. While I still wouldn't say that P is truly reading (more like memorizing as quickly as possible :), he is certainly determined to do so, and soon. He requests reading as regularly as ever (story addict that he is!), but these days he's also finding words all around him and asking that they be read too. The realization that the world is Filled with words has hit him and he's psyched.

Simultaneously, he's decided to go to sleep differently. I think a lot has to do with his recent weaning (they really do willingly quit eventually! Holy Moly!), leaving space for a new bedtime ritual. A lot has to do with the sheer exercise of his Will too :) Darkness has always been a necessary element to P's nighttime sleep - overstimulated angel that he can be. Well, he's decided That particular silliness just Has to End. And so the light started staying on at bedtime. This, of course, means that P then has trouble going to sleep. Without the sway of a carseat or the rhythmic rocking of the mei tai, the light leaves everything, well, visible. And visible is distractible and distractible is Awake. As E and I are completely Done by ten at night, we've started just lying down with our eyes closed and resting (or zonking, in E's case:) while P settles himself.

His sleep has therefore crept an hour later, moving him closer and closer to owl's hours. But, the beauty of this approach is that, much like when I'm sick and there's just no option, he Has to entertain himself as we drift off. No emotional isolation engendered like there would be if I was just reading a book to myself ("Mama, why won't you Play with me?" As if he can't even imagine why the person he wants to spend every second with doesn't feel just as much love and excitement as him:), just quiet play because we're Sleeping. Sure, he's tested our sleepy resolve (what self respecting four year old wouldn't?). Gotten close to my face, his little breathy chuckles tickling my closed eyelids. Sure, he's considered hanging out in the (dark) house alone. Little feet quickly pitter-pattering back to the bed, an airplane clutched in his tired hand. (A scary independent accomplishment as yet repeated :)

And then he decided to right a wrong he feels nightly. The ending of book time. This signals the final transition from day to night, a transition P has fought for four years. Not in the typical "bedtime fights," as he's never had a stiff "bedtime" before. We go to sleep when he's tired. Just a sad little internal fight where he tries to keep his eyes open and his day going, misery be damn. As I finished another chapter of Charlie and the Chocolate factory the other night and kissed him good night, he moaned that he wanted more. I promised more in the morning, after I had rested my tired body, he could look at the pictures if he wanted. Typically, any suggestion to look at a book sans moi has him roaring "but I can't READ!" with immense indignation. This time, he grabbed a beginner book that he loves, "Today I Will Fly" and proceeded to read it to himself. Then he cuddled up next to me and went to sleep. It was amazing.

Two days later we got a set of "Brand New Readers." Easy beginner books that kids can tackle almost immediately. And so he did. He read through a few books that same day, pausing after each page to ask BB if he'd heard :) I love that BB acts as a mirror to P's emotions - an easy look into how he's feeling about life at any moment. If P's nervous about something he often asks BB if the pink monster is nervous, if P is hurt, he places bandaids on BB, if P's proud of himself, then he makes sure BB hears of what has just been done so BB can reply with the requisite "No Way! Really? Wow..." E and I skip the external praise and "good jobs" (see a great, short article on the many reasons why to skip verbal rewards here) but this peer-like feed back seems to be just the perk P needs when he feels pride. Have I mentioned how much I love this little monster?

At any rate, there's so much independence blossoming amongst the flowers here that I'm amazed. The child's belief that he really is, secretly, a grown-up, seems to be becoming more and more true every day and he awakens each day feeling like he really can fly...