Zia: Her 18th Month. And now, her 19th, too...;)

Ok, I've said it before, but I'm gonna say it again, I cannot Believe how much a baby can change in a month.  Wowsah.

So, it seems the tantrums, the flings to the floor, have subsided.  Disappointments still happen, of course, but Z seems to be establishing a more solid grasp on how life flows and doesn't experience utter shock when extension cord chewing is eschewed.  This is so nice :)  There was a brief blip (that seemingly lasted forever;) where we felt a tad tied to the homestead, as every library, grocery store or sidewalk outing could (would) end in serious sadness.  (Oh to run in the street, rip all of the books off of the shelves or play on someone else's porch!  Where is the Freedom???)

In other words, she gets it (at least, sometimes she gets it. This morning's outing an obvious exception...). And she luuuuuuuuuvs to play, so, (assuming I'm rested enough to have my wits about me) almost all ills can be avoided with games and silly songs. P was often such a serious sort at this age (which I loved), but I'm finding her hammy huge laughs and her purposeful mis-steps hilarious and fun and new.  This child LOVES to laugh.

But what's really new, is how she handles disappointment. It is heartbreaking and adorable and I'm trying to not overthink it here... Once surly in the face of brotherly growls, an oak tree barely blown by any angry P yells, she has become super sensitive the past month. Like, SUPER sensitive. She cannot stand being growled at and will run, yelling "Noooooooooo" until she is behind my legs (yes, he seems to enjoy that. Sigh.) And if he yells "No!" at her? OMG. Same reaction as when, last night, she grabbed something off of our kitchen floor (later established to be a piece of very dry cheese...) and

Oy. This has been sitting for weeks. She seems to have actually outgrown this habit before I even finished blogging about it :). If that isn't a statement in futility here...

At any rate, she did a heartbreaking run to a corner or a head bury in the nearest couch for a few weeks whenever she felt (even the slightest) upset. She seems to be recovering her tenacity quite nicely, as she now favors, for instance, growling "Baby, NO!" in a demented gremlin voice whenever she sees a child doing something that crosses her. Gotta say, the sensitive pout was much more endearing. But I worry less about her future seeing her strength shine :)

Which leads me to a quick confession. I've realized I'm doing a bit of a backwards sexism thing in my parenting that makes me pause. Subconsciously responding to strength in her and sensitivity in him. When she smacks her brother (always after ample warning that she was Not enjoying his tactics) I almost silently shrug and think, well, she warned ya, don't touch her if she doesn't want it! Twisted. I know. I'm working on it.

Haha. Third try at this post!

She turns 20 months today. Holy crikey.

So, at this age, Zia is..... Fast. Tall. Talkative. Continually mistaken for a two (plus) year old. Which can be hard, since, well, she's not :). She loves to play with other kids (an obvious departure from P's toddlerhood, er, entire early childhood;) and almost obsessively asks for Papa to take her to to the playground.

Of which she has three in rotation. And if he heads towards the one she isn't thinking of (she knows the neighborhood like the back of her tiny hand) she will shout, "No! The other one!" Once arrived, she favors the slides. And vacillates between gremlin voice ownership of the structures and attempted toddler adorability (by sliding up beside another kid and smiling, "Hi, Baby! Babble babble babble" (which said baby (no one, really) can yet translate.)

This week, she adores her father. It seems to be cyclic. Some weeks, going away with him is a big ol' NO. Then it cycles and she runs into his arms with her throaty "Papa!!!!!" And coyly turns to me and winks, "Bye-bye." Yah, I've been dismissed :). Or how she wakes up and the first thing she asks (every morning) is, "Where'd Papa go?"  Funny to see her vacillate back and forth with growth spurts and teething and colds etc. What I really, really want is a picture of E's face when she is running towards him with her arms wide. My heart seizes up at his happiness. Love. It.

She also loves her baby doll, now named Baby Mine. She very much likes to take Baby Mine on walks in P's old stroller (which she is just a titch small to operate smoothly...)  She loves riding her wheely bug cow, stacking Ian and Kendra's blocks, bustling about the play kitchen... and making messes.

Really, that about sums it up. She spends a seemingly small amount of time with toys, typically just getting into whatever is lying around and making enormous messes with it. She loves to open our low food cupboard and take all of the food out and put it in our shopping bag. She screams bloody murder if something doesn't fit. She takes the glass jars out and sets them all over the kitchen floor. I walk back in and, not noticing the CLEAR objects on the floor, trip and watch them roll everywhere.  She loves chase and giggle and closing doors (oh the power) and moving chairs to climb onto everything and she most especially likes to go on walks.

What else...  The nitty gritty, food, sleep, shit...  Some days she takes herself to the potty and I hear her yell from the other room, "I pee! Yay!!!"  Then she excitedly runs and dumps her wee potty pan in the big toilet, cheering for herself.  Other days she is insulted by the very idea. She has the concept, I think, as she walks around the house, pointing to various places, "No pee on that, no pee on that, no pee on That..."  And then points to the potty and says, "Pee on THAT!"  So, I'm hopeful we are getting closer to fewer accidents while simultaneously realizing she is only one and a half...

She hasn't eaten much the last two months.  Mostly just masticating whatever we give her and spitting it out.  I mean, she eats some sometimes, but it has been a definite departure.  Then just as her last molar is erupting and she turns twenty months, just in the last few days she has started Chowing Down.  Coincidence?  I dunno, but I love that I don't worry about every little change with the second, trusting she isn't chewing and swallowing for a reason, waiting for it to change, cuz it always does...   Wow the second time is so much easier for me:)

Food as far as allergies?  Oy.  Still figuring.  I've dropped pork and coconut for the month and her face rash has slowly but surely started to heal, so I'm going to trial coconut back in this week.  I'm fine without pork (it was just for P) and will probably skip it and move on to something else...  Beans, maybe?  Or , ooooo, I think I"ll try sunflower seeds...  Always optimistic her gut is healing :)  Especially with this week's addition:  potatoes!!!!  I tried them last month and she had explosive diarrhea and horrrrrid stomach pains.  But there was a flu going around and I was hopeful it was a coincidence... this week no problem!  P is jumping for joy and we are having his favorite soup tonight!  Poor kid, always having to worry about his sis's limitations.  Poor sister, always seeing her hero eat shit she can't.  Food issues and multiple kids Suck.

OH!  And Speech.  She is loving the talking.  And we love that, though there is still a ton we don't get ;)   I don't sign with her too much these days.  She still uses the signs she's learned, but we're tending to add words now, instead of signs.  Her verbal skills sometimes shock me.  She speaks in lots of 4 word sentences.  Like, "I go bye-by Papa."   And, true to her really, really communicative nature, she will then expand on exactly what she meant by that.  "Walk, ME, and Papa.  Bye-bye!"  One night, about a month ago, she suddenly started parsing pronouns.  E and I were just sitting there, with our mouths kinda hanging open.  "I."  And she pointed to herself.  "Me."  And she pointed to herself again.  "I, me, Zia."  Then she pointed at E and said, "He.  Papa.  You."  Ummm, yah, kid, that's right....  You know you're only a year and a half, right?  Could you slow the EFFF down, please?

Wow, I WILL post this today, a month or so after starting it...

What was left that I wanted to note...  Sleep.  Has been horrible the last two months.  She's been getting in her molars and her canines all at once and (apparently) notices the pain most at night.  Which leads to lots and lots of night nursing.  (And day nursing too, since she wasn't really eating much...)  She also seems to have a really active dream life, which is interrupting her sleep.  She wakes up talking about her dreams or calling out complaints ("Mine!!  I want it!" lol) about what is happening in her dream.  But just in the last week or so, she slept a couple hours a few times and I think once she kicks the cold that has tackled her this weekend (ahh, can I just admit to almost shaking with stress when her fever started to climb?  No seizures though :) she may just be ready to sleeeeeeep!

She's still napping each afternoon, though she has started to disagree with the idea some days.  I wonder if she'll stop napping really early like P did.  She already only sleeps about 12 hours in a 24 hour period (a couple hours short for her age, but it is really all she seems to be able to clock - and she wakes up happy and ready to rumble:)  P will be simultaneously devastated and elated when she drops her nap.  He really needs that focused time with me each afternoon (though poor Z never gets focused time with me, sigh) but being tied to the house each afternoon really limits his social life.  She is a horrible out and about napper (P rocked it in the Ergo!), so we plan everything around being home for it (and not being en route home for it, as she is, apparently, the only baby on earth that absolutely, positively hates sleeping in her car-seat...)  I guess we'll see how it goes when it goes :)

This is a babbly boring post, I know.  Too much for one post, really, but I haven't been taking the time to make frequent little posts...  I want to remember each and every little thing and that makes for a fairly unorganized and dull blog, thought I think all of my readers have abandoned ship and I am now just journaling for the future...

I just don't want her baby-hood to careen into the void, unwritten and forgotten!  Especially since I am finding her babyhood (fine, toddlerhood:) absolutely awesome.  I just adore her.  She is an ornery little lightning bolt who can be so sweet and caring it kills me.  And I am enjoying this toddlerhood in a way that I didn't with my first...  Insert guilt.  Not that I didn't love little P, (Obviously!!!) just that the adjustment to his total tyranny over my every moment was really rough and the sleep deprivation/insomnia/first-time-mamahood/cancer/multiple moves combo painted a thin veil of stress over the whole period.  I'm settled in this time and just able to enjoy the ride.

And though two (as I realized when E took her hiking and I only had P the other day and suddenly felt like I was on vacation) is just immeasurably more than one, I also love the two kid dynamic.  P points out (pretty regularly) how much easier life was as an only.  And it's a really astute realization.  Everything is a challenge at this age.  If he leaves his stuff lying around, she will get into it.  If he tries to set up a game or display, she will get into it.  If he wants to read a book with me, she will make this impossible.  And as of the last month, I feel like a sports referee.  Which is Exactly why I always said I would only have One.  And, silly, silly, woman, I thought the age gap would deter such frustrations.  But, honestly?  I think you put a semi-verbal toddler into any situation and somebody is going to feel like pulling their hair out (or will get their hair pulled out...)  And, honestly?  Having two little bodies to love this fiercely makes up for the fighting.

So P has some bald(ish) spots ;)  And we all may be slightly deaf (oy, her shriek is shockingly powerful.)  But by the grace of older age, E and I are laughing this time around.  And I absolutely LOVE looking at him as she chucks her carrot soup across the room (or stands atop a board book and suddenly (even seeming to surprise herself) pisses all over it) and seeing his eye twinkle, while he sighs and reaches for some rags. Parenting with him the second time around rocks, too.  We don't have to hash through all of the "approaches" or wade through what we grew up with and what we've read and what we've imagined.  I guess, to sum up a very long (picture-less to boot! (isn't that what Instagram is for?;)) post, I'm enjoying aging.  Especially surrounded by the people whom are aging with me.