LIttle Man getting bigger

I just wanted to jot some stuff down about P.

 He's looking so much older to me these days.  He's long and leggy and his nose isn't a baby nose anymore.  I wondered if it was just in comparison to Z.  But looking at a pic of them from almost a year ago - nope - he has grown up soooo much.  He's had such a year of change, and with all of the birthdays in September (Superman's, Grams and Zia's are boom boom boom three days in a row - plus an Uncle and a dear friend) he is really thinking about how to celebrate his past year on his upcoming EIGHTH! birthday.  The kid has BIG plans.

P, about a year ago.  

Clowns, pinatas,  balloon animals, friends galore (everyone he knows, really), music, a tall, tall, tall (vanilla) cake with fondant icing, hummus, pizza, cast Lego crayon goodie bags and a remote control car race.  Big dreams.  He's very excited.  We'll see what the actual event holds - I'm overwhelmed at the thought of anyone even coming to our house :)  But it's sweet to see him dream big, since he has traditionally wanted only a small family get together.  No song, no fuss.  He still wants to skip the song, but man is he set on a fuss ;)

tall and lanky.

His play has changed, too.  He's officially playing like E and I remember from our childhoods. Creating worlds (with Legos or Hex Bugs or stuffed toys or sticks or rocks, anything, really) with intricate characters and story lines.  He builds and then sits there in a sun beam, muttering under his breath as his villains or friends work through whatever he is trying to work through.  He has a Lego couple that have had quite the time overcoming their differences (she's from the city, he is a nature loving back to the earth kinda guy that lives in a cabin.  There were arguments on ways of living and even a separation.  Dra-ma.)  He announced to me yesterday that... they just got married.  Its been about a year now, time is different in Lego world, and they are now expecting a baby.  I'm guessing this will be the longest gestation in the world's history, as there are no Lego babies made, to my knowledge...

while not "reading" he "reads" a lot - an independent sorta thing too;)

he decided to make a blanket for my mom as part of her bday gift. 

After requiring me to be a part of his inner monologues for so long (usually as BB) it's fascinating, and liberating, to see it take place without me.  But I love when he invites me in.  Tells me the whole break down of the drama unfolding, the wars and backstories.  His character's foibles and strengths.  It's fascinating to see how he is putting together his own story of our world and how that translates into his story lines.  How it differs from my views, how it mimics.

We're also getting to hear about his views over dinner.  He loves dinner with us these days. After years of taking bites on the run, he takes pleasure in a well laid table (even if he usually gets a dirty one with scattered toys;) and a pretty plate.  And he asks the most fabulous questions (that we don't even try to answer:).  My favorite from last month was: what is beyond the Universe?  That just because the Universe is all we know doesn't mean that's all there is, right?  It can't just E.N.D.  So What is beyond it? Even nothing is something, right?  You can't just say that after the universe ends, there is nothing, like bam, a wall and then no-thing.  How can there be NOTHING?   Like air, it seems like nothing, but it IS something.  And it can have a smell, too.  Then we know it's something..... And what does space smell like?

We, of course, have no answers for him. But the asking seems to be the important part anyway :)

When he isn't figuring out the world or creating his own, he is unbelievably into the playground.  The Little Man?  Lovin the playground?  No waaaaaay.  I know!  He LOVES it.  Makes new friends every. time.  And when we go to the park, he just goes up to kids and gets their names and starts playing with them.  I Know!!!  After yeeeeears of worrying (silly first time Mama), he is a fabulous friend.  And he has scored some equally fabulous friends here.  Granted, he has yet to reach the point where he is asking for them regularly (hanging at home, going on walks, to the park, the playground etc being his primary preference), but he no longer resists peer play.  At all, really.  Talk about a big change.

Biking back from a playground.

Which makes the homeschool group here all the more important.  We hit park days quite a bit this summer, but P kinda pooped out on those.  Which worked for me, honestly, since taking Z in the car can be such a nightmare at nap time.   But there are some plans for the rainy season that have P excited...

Like skating.  It started this week.  The free play for the first hour had him silly happy (bunches of boys showed up and they basically pummeled each other with balls.  P ran over to me (chasing Z), all pink faced and smiley, "Mama!  I am having So Much Fun!  Do you know what we're doing?  We're throwing balls!  AT each other!"  It was a revelation to him ;)

Then the skating started.  He'd never been before.  And that's some tricky shit the first time out.  So after a number of enormous falls he decided to give up.  Ugh.  I sooo recognized myself when he told me, in his shaky voice, that he was d-o-n-e.  He was so overwhelmed with the fact that he couldn't' do it that he just needed OUT.  A break from his disappointment  So we chilled on the bench and watched everyone else fall on their asses for a while :)  Then, just when he was seeming less on edge, one of his sweetest friends came to check on him and offered to teach him.  By the time we left, he LOVED skating ;)

We checked the community pool by the skating spot and it is Fantastic.  P is set to swim every week.  I'm thrilled, since I can honor his want to swim (super sensory happiness for him) and not slather Z with sunscreen.  Here's hoping Z likes the family swim time as much as P... :)

He couldn't wait to get her on his homemade teeter totter.

And speaking of Z, P is really becoming a big brother.  It's a subtle shift.  But the "only" label is definitely leaving, being replaced with the "big brother" label.  I think I'm too tired today to explain :)  But, basically, there is a caregiver aspect and a responsibility aspect to his personality now.  (Right alongside a tormentor aspect...)  Hmmm, like this morning.  Z fell and smashed her fingers.  I was putting dirty dipes in the wash and E was right beside her, so he picked her up.  But when she is hurt, she only wants me.  E, knowing this, let the struggling, now pissed, baby to the floor as P screamed at me, "She Needs You!"  I think he was shocked I didn't' come running.  But I want to give E the space to comfort, a marital detail P couldn't understand :)  So the Little Man swiped her up and ran her to me.  The joy he finds in (both watching and teasing) her still shocks me every day.  I really didn't expect him to like her this much.  I mean, sometimes he doesn't, at all :)  And few things give him greater pleasure than climbing onto my lap and watching her howl in jealousy.  But when something new happens, he can't wait to show her.  He wants to get her toys and have her try new foods and he is crazy watchful of her during the day.  All pleasant surprises for me ;)

He insisted he carry her birthday dessert.  He expressed more excitement about her turning one than anyone around.  I can't even count the number of times he had to tell BB Zia was one;)

And while he is seeming bigger and bigger each day, I can't forget that he is still SO little.  I mean, even eight years, in the scope of things, is a damn small period of time to figure out an entire world ;)

Floating Castle balloon from Story Time.

Sometimes, he makes that easy to remember.  Like when he is totally captivated at the neighborhood story time each week.  All of these small kids and then P, totally mesmerized by the Itsy Bitsy Spider :)  He really is so very innocent still.

These are the cookies he made Caleb.  His BFF.  Caleb, an expert in survival skills and Native American life, made P a bow and arrow set, showed P how to make more, taught him how to make a flint kit, sharpen his knife, start a fire, sew leather, you get the idea.  And a month after we met this amazing guy (he lived down the block)?  He moved away with his wife and kid to southern Oregon!  P was heartbroken. 

And he's just good.  He sooooo wants to be good and he tries So Hard to be "good."  Granted, that isn't as apparent when others are around...  the lessened attention seems to bring out the ornery in him, BIGtime.  Talking on the phone is, sigh, still not a pleasant experience.  And he can become enormously ornery when Alicia comes to help watch Z while I work in the garden.  The other day he explained it to me.  Basically, he wants "more attention, Mama."  Story of the kid's life ;)

Watching a chipper out the window.

Seeming "naughtiness" (aka, he's still little and hasn't mastered self control:) aside, there are terribly sweet things that remind us how very little he still is, too :)  Like his excitement for this birthday and Halloween.  Or like when he turns to me and says wistfully, "Mama, I wish the Universe could make me so I could do magic."  I validate, it'd be cool.  Downbeat. And then kinda quiet and hopeful, "Mama, do you think the Universe will?"

And when I was nursing Z the other day and E was lounging on the lounge, drinking his coffee, P ran over and flopped on him.  E grumbled about hot coffee and his sore back and P kinda moaned, "But I want somebody to cuddle too..."  So, even if his feet are finally too big (and, typically, filthy) to kiss on (something I couldn't imagine EVER happening when he was a baby:) he is still small enough to believe in magic and want cuddles ;)