Worth the 364 days of waiting...

The block costume parade, complete with bag-piping Scotsman in the lead...

We were beyond lucky when we landed on this block (in this place, the longest place we have lived (four whole years next month!) since we graduated high school almost 20 years ago. I jest not about our gypsy hearts :) Across the street from this amazing park, around the corner from the subway, upstairs from nice landlords and seconds away from swarms of kids. The annual block party (for said swarms) is almost too good to be true and tips my scale in location love. And the kid, he waits for it from the day after one party until the day of the next, the following year :)

After many, many months of "when will it block party day?", the day finally arrived. Making an already special affair even more lovely, family and friends joined the kid. Uncle Seth and Aunt Alicia spent the early afternoon bouncing and running, as well as the world's best downstairs neighbors, R and L.

P was happy to drag us all through the wet with him. Seth smartly tried the umbrella approach, though our fire hydrant "sprinkler" refused to leave anyone dry...





R, bouncing with the boy.



Unlike last year's, this bouncy house wasn't fully enclosed, so, of course, the Little Man just had to climb it. When I snapped his scaling smile I didn't realize it froze the small female form in the back in a dead-doll-like hanging position. It looks like her wee head is impaled in the yellow plastic. I love the morbidity of it :)


After his tall friends departed for various adult pursuits, the Little Man fell in with the local set. I started to type "shorter set," but that' wouldn't be accurate, since he sees the adults at this end of the block as his close companions too and approaches both tall and short (and those in between:) in equal amounts. His independence was solid this year and I wistfully remembered his first block party four years ago - that required constant attention and chasing (on our part:) It was a much lazier afternoon this time, requiring little more than stoop sitting and the occasional smile and wave. The kid, he's growing up.

This wave of independence washes in new issues to wade through. Left alone on the stoop while we retrieved potluck pots from upstairs, the Little Man romped about "unattended." All of our neighbors and his buddies were outside (including the 13 year old boy that lives next door, who shadows P's every move with diligent devotion). I didn't think a thing about it. Arriving downstairs, an unknown guest to the party informed me P had been walking the stoop wall. Yup, he likes to do that. P and climbing go together like E and naps, I hardly blinked. Then she informed me, with more emphasis, that she had told him she was nervous, he should get down. Hehe. Whooooooops :)

I know the whole routine about raising children to respect their elders. I'm friends with kids that have the endearing protocol of calling everyone Miss Insert-First-Name-Here. I just don't buy it. At all. Adults can be asses (or worse) and I don't want my kid blindly following someone on the basis of wrinkle achievement alone (even idiots sunburn). Now, I've never told him this, explicitly, since I'd like to engender respect for everyone, regardless of age. But I also haven't told him, explicitly, that he is to listen to his elders. After all, we live in NYC, and random people tell us what to do all the time. I've had instructions shouted at me from bikes, cars, walkers passing by, children sitting on stoops, grannies glued to library steps. You name it, P's seen somebody "help" me on the subject (do I look this inherently clueless???) I've blogged about it before, how odd it is (every time) and how I try to respond with validation to their concern while feeling solid. Responding respectfully, even when my middle finger feels faster than the smile on my face. I know that, on some level, they think they are helping. I've hoped this wordlessly said to P, listen and be nice, but listen to yourself too. When he was younger he was so worried about upsetting people, their reactions, and I really worried he would live his life based on other's hopes and expressions. Well, apparently, he's grown out of that :)

She went on to inform me, with a bit of bitchy dismay, that my child had informed her not to worry, he'd climbed the stoop wall 10 million times :) And then he had proceeded to walk that wall. The air was pregnant with her pause, the one where I was supposed to turn to my kid and have him apologize or something. I just smiled and said "Oh, yes, he's always enjoyed climbing!" As if on cue, the kid ran up the stoop stairs and threw his body over the side, to dangle from the railing, mid-air, over the concrete far below. She actually gasped. I chuckled. (Quietly and respectfully, of course.) I knew the kid wouldn't be rude to her as I walked away with my bean salad. He loves people too much to even consider being "mean." He's just honest and, finally, full of some of that self-esteem that allows him to answer anyone with that sweet, unwavering honestly.

But this wasn't the only growing pang that day. As the day progressed, P started collecting (insert sigh) cans. He carried them about, the reason entirely unclear to me (as with much of his collecting, to be honest...) Much of the time he was carrying them about, following .... Rose, the 10 year old girl from across the street. Together with her younger brother, they play street ball with P and Rose sweetly gives P water balloons and tells him how cute he is. Long story short, he has chosen Rose as his first girlfriend. He informed me of this a few weeks ago, out of nowhere. He thought he should have one and he had picked Rose. We had just sat to supper in the kitchen. He paused for a second after his share and then turned to me, "Should I go tell her now?" I stumbled and mumbled, not sure how to broach the whole sudden subject, when E's arrival home saved me...

But only momentarily, because when Rose returned to the block party, post-dinner, in a dress and heels, her blockmate buddies barbie'd up too, P was transfixed. He stared (and not slyly:), continuously looking at those heeled shoes (she had been barefoot all day:) I wondered if music played n his head or something, it was such a quintessential first love realized moment. With the misty water flying from the hydrant in the background, the mariachi band playing in the street, the warm wind whisking her dress around and the shadows of the trees flitting, it was the making of a magical moment; in that second, P was changed. It was, seriously, like one of those movie montages:)

But everyone knows that the branching of the heart is the beginning of pain. Especially for young boys, I've heard girls are mean ;)

I sat on the stoop, watching him flit about the street with various friends, always returning to Rose's heels. Eventually he walked up to her pack of pretties (the balls on this kid! I swear! A five year old approaching a group of pre-teen girls, the poor kid's mother should be looking out for him or something ;) He spoke for a bit and the next thing I knew, the pack was suddenly at my side, sans P, giggling.

"Do you know what your son just asked Rose?!?!"

"What? :)

"If she wanted to go to town and get a beer!"

I had to laugh. The whole girlfriend idea has been inspired by his Uncle's amazing new gal pal. And those two frequently do spend time together grabbing beers, so I wasn't altogether positive he hadn't said this, though I figured his phrase had differed at least slightly...:)

"What did you say, Rose?"

"I told him I was having a sleep-over, so I couldn't."

And this cinched it for me. The child, at least, has good taste. She's a sweetie.

That night, as we lay in bed chatting, unwinding from the long day, I found out Rose's friends weren't as sweet as his sweetie, though the kid would never complain or "tattle." He just mentioned it as fact. And I casually asked about his invite. "I asked her if she wanted to count my beer cans with me."

Now that sounded more like my five year old :) He's been into counting in Spanish lately and perhaps thought this was just the type of excitement needed for a first invite. We had a little chat about girls in groups and the child is hopefully better armed for his next ballsy boyfriend move.... Unfortunately, I doubt I'll have another 364 days before it happens again :)