Ok, speaking of jonesing for dolphin skulls (just what I longed for at four ;), I still haven't posted pics from before we went to Kansas! (Remember this poem:)
So, skipping back over a month ago, we went to the American Museum of Natural History (again:). It was a fun day with P's little unschooler friend, Logan, and his mum. Its Fabulous hanging out with other unschoolers (especially these two!). Really. The level of respect is relaxing. The small people receive just as much respect as the big people (they're not less of a person just because they have less mass, right?) so there's no feeling of "come'on! Get your kid to go with the flow, I'm tired of waiting," foot tap, finger roll, small sigh. Each bathroom break, snack grab, shoe tie, water break, attention break, angry shriek, happy shriek, bathroom break, well, you get the idea, is as honored as breathing and its all chill and happy. Ahhhhh :)
I've posted about the AMNH a million times, so I'll spare the gory details, excepting the gift shop gab. Thorn in my side, bane of my expedition existence, these pop up on every freakin' floor. We saw a new installation (absolutely Fabulous, by the way) called Extreme Mammals (featuring P's new fave, the platypus and that infamous dolphin skull) that dumped us right into another gift shop. Oy.
Which inevitably brings back up the budget issue. Living in Nyc ain't cheap. And, supposedly requires savings. Which requires not buying every saber tooth tiger skull that we see. But. But :) But....
I think this is one of the most challenging areas for me, philosophically, as a parent. P is just as much a part of this family as E or I, and is thusly budgeted. But, here's the first big, hairy "but", E and I are old enough to actually, patiently, understand a budget :) The little man, not so much... He's progressing on that path though. As we discussed a particular "want" in Kansas, and how we'd make it happen ("now" always being his preferred timeline, of course!) I gently reminded him that we were saving so that Papa could quit his job or we could move someday, something, anything, that would make for more family time - and that I'd like to factor that into our planning. He nodded solemnly (being totally on the bandwagon for that plan himself) and patted my hand. "Mama, you know the money I'm saving that I find on the ground? You can have all of it to help Papa quit his job." Awwww. So, slowly but surely, that particular "but" is stepping aside, leaving room for the other "buts" banging around my brain...
While we do have a tight budget, we aren't crazy strapped, so P could get junk semi-regularly. But :), he doesn't want to buy junk, having absorbed environmental thoughts (I swear we aren't mind-messing here, merely modeling!) from both his parents and the lovely Dr. Suess (ahhh, the Lorax, so sad, so fab, so inpirational) and the fairly scary Wall-E movie. . Junky toys break and can't be reused by the next generation. P doesn't like this. He tries to reclaim anything he finds left over after stoop sales in order to save it from the dump :) So this dumps the idea of buying junk to fit into the budget...
Thus, back to the buts. We could buy decent (non-junk) toys semi-regularly, "but".... we're running out of room. Nyc living is also compact living. Three of us sleep in what most midwesterners would consider a walk in closet. We love it, no complaining here, and we've found lots of ways to add toy storage to our space, but there are only so many walls for shelves. I love, love, loved in Sex and the City when the main character mentions lipstick purchases as a serious commitment to a New Yorker, since we have to seriously consider where each little addition will dwell in our tiny domains.
Fortunately for P, I love to reorganize space, and figuring new toy storage is like a Tetris-addict's high for me, so that particular "but" only holds for the biggest of budget benders (the almost life sized stuffed baby elephant at the Central Park Zoo gift shop pops to mind here...) And I've already done away with the "but won't we spoil him" "but" long ago (he's not an egg!!!), but the anti-consumerist "but" is probably the hairiest but for this particular tree-hugger. My shield against this fun deflating arrow of angst has thus far been attempting to remember that these are my issues, not my child's. But, if everyone keeps consuming at the contemporary rate, over-consumption of the world's resources will snowball into my child's issue. And probably in my lifetime, so I'll have the added bonus of watching my child wade through a world of with-outs. I have yet to shake this "but."
Then, the last "but" butts its way in. But, we've got so many toys already!!! I know, deep down, this is a silly "but", as silly as the phrase "too many black shoes" is laughable. But, its not black shoes I'm asked to buy daily. Don't get me wrong, I love toys, truly. "But", as I'm the one picking up the countless toys at the end of every day (an act of love I'm typically happy to do, getting his house ready for another day of fun) it typically crosses my mind that we have tons of toys when there are so many kids... that do not. I know, I know, a slippery slope of sloppy thought on which my guilt figure skates, but a but that I've yet to de-hair despite charity and serious thinking.
So, back to the gift shop. As the little man stands there, asking for the skull (um, we'll save for it!) and then whittles his way down to smaller and smaller items, getting that gift store gleam in his eye, all of these "buts", I kid you not, run through my head, chasing each other in circles like little Sambo around a tree. P and I have discussed this, when far away from the gift stores, and agreed upon a plan. Or, at lease, seemingly agreed. We've picked out meaningful holidays throughout the year, providing practically monthly presents for the little man. He has expressed a preference for being surprised (rather than present at the purchase) by brightly bound boxes and we've tried to follow that guideline. We have a "wish list for the Universe" that we work from, watching how the Universe provides for us, how we effect our own existence.
But, the best laid plans go awry, or life wouldn't be very interesting. And budgeting and buts at four is less than life expanding. So its back to the drawing board for me, trying to see the" yes", the "of course" and the "buts" in one beautiful package, preferably with a reused bow :)
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