Thank gawd for Naomi Aldort

And thank gawd for no naps. Good sleep and a little growth and he's found his groove in so many ways, making him, dare I say it? Agreeable? Accommodating? Well, enjoyable at the very least :) He's gone from one of the strongest willed, intently autonomous toddlers I've ever met to a problem solving preschooler in the last 6 months and spending time with him is, well, fun. It could be fun-ny before, but was simultaneously trying, tiring and tantrum filled. By bedtime I usually felt like I'd been run over by a mack truck hauling a huge load of demands. Now my little mack truck understands "I'd love to do x for you, but my hands are busy with wet dishes. Can you wait?" If he doesn't respond "awwight mom" he might say "mama, I weally NEED x, Now. Please help." These are words he had 6 months ago, but his Phoenix-centered brain made it impossible for him to string them together. No more! Now he can be busy playing with E in one room and hear me quietly growl after I drop his peeled pear in the next room (my general ammo with frustration) and yell in "What mama? You ok?"

And its amazing what a little patience, understanding and empathy (from the kid) will do for parents. Its kinda like when your baby starts smiling. It takes the relationship up a notch in enjoyability. We've always thought he was fabulous :) but were too often too frustrated to fully appreciate said specialness. Absent of the popular parenting trump cards (because I said so, or, you have to the count of three, or, I said No!) constant demands and the ensuing deal making was difficult with our pre-logical, self-centered offspring :) The idea that respect and generosity can't be taught (trained, yes, but truly understood, no) occasionally seemed a pie in the sky notion that deserved the eye rolling it generated from elderly onlookers on the subway. But every time we thumbed through Naomi Aldort, we knew what she wrote was true. And we are seeing signs of that now. Without lectures, shaming, time-outs or yelling/spanking, P is... kind. He's still three, of course, and playdates seem to fit outside of this newfound friendliness, but with E and I its getting golden. This isn't to say he's grown compliant. The last thing I yearn for is a world of automatons. But a world full of kind problem solvers I will take!

I write this celebratory post for the inevitably less envious stage that will hit in, say, 4, 6, 12? months. Then we can look back and say, well, there was that one golden week .... and we really Don't want compliant, we want kind. We don't want compliant? we don't want compliant, we don't want compliant..... :)