A Big Sigh and a little Snow

It snowed again last week.  It was beeeautiful.  For a couple of hours ;)  Fortunately, P was up early enough to get in some playtime before it melted away.  Unfortunately, the boys next door were at school and unavailable for play (P's used to snow days in NYC and all of the neighbor kids playing in a huge pile.)  To top it off, Zia and I weren't particularly interested in a snowball fight first thing in the morning :( So P, always the problem solver, had us stand in the window and blasted us there.  This was infinitely more fulfilling anyway, since he could hit his sister straight in her face without any guilt ;)  She cackled, he cackled, it was all good.

Then he scored a carrot and corralled as much snow as he could to make Mount Hood (the neighboring ski slope) and a snow man.
Good times :)

Inside, he rediscovered BB's chateau and set it up in the living room. This totally demonstrates how P plays.  He sets things up.  In minute detail.  Harry Potter Museums.  Art shows.  Totoro exhibits.  Science experiment shelves.  Even his castle.  He very carefully places his battle boys in specific spots.  We usually duel, one on one with these bad boys. But the other day, my character got a little aggressive and accidentally sent a passer-by flying, knocking over a couple of other players and toppling the castle tower.  The Little Man fought back tears.  Things were out of order, his perfect display was a mess.  I felt awful, playing willy-nilly like I did as a child, forgetting how particular P is about his set-ups.  I was much more careful when the Minotaur moved in next door to the chateau this week.

Meanwhile, we've had a huge leap of luck with Zia.  I know sesame seeds give her insomnia.  (I've tested them THREE times, hoping this was a joke.  I would very much like them in my diet for a calcium source - and I just like sesame seed stuff;)  I decided a couple weeks ago that hummus probably doesn't have enough sesame seeds in the tahini to make things tough.  Ditto on baba ganoush.  I mean, its got to be such a tiny amount, how could it even count??  So I've been enjoying these new foods and wondering why the baby can only catch tiny naps and sleep a couple of hours a night.  Gee.... why???

Enter in head smack.  Two days after giving up my hummus habit, Miss Z is taking her first real nap in a couple weeks.  After clocking a decent number of hours in bed last night.  Not only does this make for a happier baby, but the more focused attention that P gets during these naps makes for a happier seven year old.  And that, well, that makes for a very happy Mama.

Zia's most favorite thing this week: her toes.  She likes to lay bare butted on her sheepskin and fold herself in half, baby contortionist style, to suck on her toes.  Kick, repeat, giggle.  

Sweetness

We had to grab something big n bulky from a nearby store today. I haven't mastered a back carry with Zia yet and figured I'd squish her wearing her on my front... Drat. Then I remembered we have P's ol' stroller!

Phoenix was SO excited for Zia to go on her first stroller ride :). I guess because he can access her there? He skipped along, holding onto her pram -then suddenly jumped with glee and shouted, "I LOVE HAVING A LITTLE SISTER!!!". lol.

A couple minutes later he stopped in his tracks and requested my phone. He wanted a picture of Miss Z on her first ride :).

Z: her third month

Zia turned four months this week!  I can't believe it (I know, I said that last time, right?)  It simultaneously seems like she's always been with us and is brand new, if that makes any sense...

Today probably isn't the best day for me to do an update...  I'm crabby to beat the band.  But I'll try and remember all of the sweet things that make me squee all of my other lucky days :)

No new tricks this month, really, just major improvements on last months celebrations.  The laundry list:  She's getting better with her hands (though she's still as likely to knock something over and, thus, away from herself as she is to bring it successfully to her mouth - which makes her less than thrilled ;)  She rolls over like she's breathing.  What took concentration and determination is now a quick flop.  (The downside to this?  She has started trying to lick/eat the carpet and she's so quick these days that she typically gets in a nice chomp before I can scoop her up.  I know, I know, for gawd's sake, woman!  Toss down a blanket!)  She even perched up on her knees a few times... and then face planted - eek!  She has signed for "milk" quite a few times, but not reliably.  She babbles, a lot. The ECing comes and goes.  Some days we nail it and only have a few dipes to wash, other days we barely have enough dipes to make it through all of our misses :)  I'm assuming its a work in progress, or that's what I tell myself each and every miss...

I think what I'm finding most astounding at this point is her (typically, not today, of course;) contentment.  Yes, she squeals and grunts to let us know we're not doing something as she prefers, and every once in a while we get it so wrong that there may be a tear.  But, typically, she's just a happy baby.  She will lay on the floor while I grab a quick shower before the sun comes up.  Never letting out a single discouraged peep (an astonishing feat in my book, since P was, oh, about 6 before he didn't mind that sort of separation.  I'm not kidding.  At all.)  She often sits on my lap while I eat and just watches the diner table gab.  (We took turns eating for, like, 3 years with P.  Fer realz.)  She's happy to be tossed on the floor for a bit after she wakes up and I pop her out of my wrap so she can pee.  She talks to herself and rolls around, totally happy.  Then I can toss in laundry or slam some dishes into the washer (its amazing what a woman can accomplish in 7 minutes with no baby on her body.)  If she starts to fuss, P typically tromps over with a "Ziiiiiaaaaa.  Ziiiiiiaaaa - what's the matter? Huh?"  And then he makes funny faces and she cackles.

P was not content on the floor.  Out of my arms.  Off of my breast.  Content, in fact, was not a word we ever used with P when he was an infant.  So this is a whole new ball game for me.

The days she's not content are days I've tried a new food that didn't' set so well.  And this makes me feel (again) so badly for P, that I didn't' realize the source of his discontent.  Then Zia doesn't want to be put down either.  Doesn't want to sleep.  Eat.  Doesn't want Papa.  Just doesn't in general.  

But those are rare now that I'm getting her allergies nailed (I remind myself, today:)  And I'm consistently amazed at how happy of a baby she is.  In fact, when she gets tired in the evening, she gets totally slap happy.  Its hilarious.  She laughs at everything (if I'm holding her).  And then she crashes ;)  But its typically quick and painless and with only gentle bounces...

There.  I hope that all sounded fabulously positive.  I should go back and reread it to get out of my current schlump.  Caused by a complete lack of sleep.  That's a collective lack, by the way.  A family sized lack.  Zia has been staying up until 10ish, getting up at 5ish and then only grabbing another couple hours (at most) during the day in tiny (sometimes 5 minute) increments.  And the seven whole hours she spends in bed at night are restless and full of nursing and flopping and farting sessions.  Each day I grow more sleep deprived, and each day requiring almost all day dedication to two at once, awake at the same time, only wears me out more.  Meanwhile, P has decided he cannot be in the bedroom when E or I are not present.  So he, too, is staying up late and rising in the dark.  A seven year old with bags under his eyes cannot possibly be anything other than clingy, demanding and easily upset.  (Although I think he may be behaving a bit better than me...)  So not only am I bonecurlingly tired, but the children are positively full of extra needs this week.  And awake to graciously share those needs for a whole 17 hours straight!

To top it all off with a big red bow, P's gut has gotten so out of whack (headaches, tummy upset, only wants to eat ice cream - all precipitated by having to take antibiotics a while back :( ) that he started asking to go back on the GAPS.  (Remember that?  We tried it a year ago for E?  My mother giddily shared a story when we were home for a visit.  The Little Man was walking through the health food store with her and pointed to a food and said something to the extent of "I ate that when I was on that fucking GAPS diet.  I hated that.")  Apparently he hates feeling yucky even more, as he has, of his own volition, given up sugar and wheat and dairy....  So I'm cooking crazy again.  (Crazier?)  And its rained all week (a first for us here), so we've been inside all 17 hours a day, enjoying each other's hunger pangs and whininess...

How, you ask, is she then blogging?  After all, seems she's got her hands pretty full with her pity trip.  Lean in for today's dirty secret.  I have reached the bottom.   We walked (in the rain) to the library and got DVDs.  I know, unschoolers worship the DVD.  '70's parents didn't think twice about the betamax.  Me?  I'm a funky Waldorf-unschooly mix, and I dislike almost every message I've met meant for the little guys that Hollywood hacks hand out.  But today?  Bring'em on.  Even if all hell breaks loose again in a bit, P giggling at a show while Zia naps on my lap and I carve out a couple of guilty me minutes on the blog - yah, that'll be enough to weather through the later...

WORD.

Winter has finally hit here in the Northwest.  We had the most beautiful snowfall this morning featuring the biggest flakes known to mankind.  Amounted to nothing, of course, cuz it just isn't cold enough down in the city.  But it was pretty.  P and I watched it out the window, facing his BFF's window, where the neighbor boys also stared up at the sky.  It was a sweet moment.

Zia has been teething, or growth spurting or food reacting or somethinging lately, so we've been playing it mellow yellow.  Our food options are starting to wear thin on us all (except for Superman, for whom repetition matters not).  It strikingly difficult to find meals that are balanced and that all of us enjoy (not to um, point any fingers at the seven year old...) that don't have eggs or tomatoes or potatoes or beef or dairy or corn...  And I'm realizing just how much I cooked with tomatoes before Zia.  (P's never met a tomato dish he didn't like.)  So, now the seven year old seems picky, but really, he's just done with chicken and carrots.  I'm still trying a new food every four days, but its so freakin hard to tell what's food and what's just her being tired or teething or boogery.  At this point, we're just relying on her butt and her spit-up to clue us to how things work.  But she's out of sorts for sure, so I'm stepping back a few weeks and going basic again.  Baby steps :)

P's been having a fun time hibernating the last week.  He received some spy stuff for Christmas and loves slinking around setting traps and shooting light into the dark.  (Like the time he snuck his tripwire alarm upstairs and placed it outside E's office.  Ethan takes work very seriously.  He works extra hours every day, usually doesn't count his hours on the weekends and doesn't take breaks but to pee.  P knows this all too well and decided seeing Papa during said pee break would be brilliant.  When E walked out of his office to wee, the whole house knew ;)  E about fell over from laughing and P got a quick hug, making his spy stuff treasured stuff:)

And the kids continue to play together.  P is thrilled she is interested in toys.  I'm pretty sure he seriously overstimulated her the first night he brought her objects to hold :)  And Zia freakin LOVES laughing at P.  And he loves to make people laugh.  Its a good combo.  Its funny to me, since he was such a serious baby and toddler, to see him being such a ham these days. This morning, attempting to distract her from the torture of nail trimming, he was making funny faces.  Suddenly he crossed his arms into an "X", concentrated for a second, and proclaimed "WORD."

Oh Em Gee.  I died.  I had no idea where he'd seen that and his attempt to get it right was hilariously sweet.  When I took a breath, I asked him where he'd seen that.  "A preview.  Is it alright I did it?"  (We've had looooong chats about movies and real life appropriateness:)  When I told him yup, he did it again.  And again.  And again.  I was laughing so hard I was crying.  So was he.  Zia, she wasn't quite so sure ;)

But until this week, we've been out and about every weekend and loving our weekly walks.  Zia's hatred of the car is extreme, and P's devotion to riding the bike grew when he devised a BB sled (a muffin tin, reinforced with duck tape, with a crayon BB drawn in the middle all safety pinned to some pink yarn and a reflector ribbon) to follow us as we pedal about the city.  Rain or shine, he's happy to jump on the back of the bike and listen to BB bump down the road.  See video above :)

 

Fun and first hospital runs

Let's see if I can knock out a quick one before they wake (her from her first nap, him from the night.  I LOVE it when they get the rare sleeping overlap!!!  I can go a week straight without actually getting even two seconds of down time (I'm not exaggerating here - and I'm not complaining, just sayin' ;) and that makes a quiet 5 minutes really luscious.)

Little Z is getting so Big!  She luuuuvs to lounge on the sheepskins we have piled by the fire.  And seeing her stretched out across my lap - she seems So Long.  But then I see her in E's arms, or look down on her napping in my wrap and and I'm overwhelmed by how totally tiny she is.  So dependent and breakable.  It boggles my mind.

Napping after coming in from a walk.  My thumb is almost as big as her nose.  It takes up her whole cheek.  She's like a tiny doll.  Constantly bigger, but still so little.  Its fun.

Speaking of tiny and breakable...  P seems So Big these days.  His face is changing.  He looks older, stands taller.  Overflows my lap.  I love it when something strikes me and he still seems small (like the other day, when he was bashing the wall with his feet and I commented "That kind of wall is breakable."  He stopped.  Then a second later he asked, "What kind of rock is it again?"  Hehehe.  Apparently he'd heard us call it "sheetrock.")   But really, in the spectrum of things, he is still small, and I soooo don't want to forget that and start in with yucky expectations... But I digress.

P typically bounces.  He's not that breakable.  I mean, he falls, and tumbles and bonks a LOT. Cuz he's really busy and kinda dare devilish and E and I just aren't those protective (physically at least;) parents.  And he gets bruised.  A lot.  But he bounces.   I can't even count the number of times I've shoved a flashlight at his eyes to check his pupils.  Seriously.  But this time when I did it, they were a little off :(

So, after face-planting off the bed (there was some wrastling involved, some foot-sweeping, some flying...)  we watched him for the afternoon.  He was so lethargic. And his head was horribly hurting.  He answered slowly and was just, basically, out of it.  Then he started barfing.  E, having been bonked and stitched up a trillion times as a kid was still pretty laissez-faire about the whole thing.  Me, not so much.  Obviously, I'm not the sort to run to the doctor (for which my brothers chastised me after my last birth...)  But, he was realllllly off.  And its the regret I fear.  So I sent them off into the night to the children's hospital.  Devastated that I couldn't go with the Little Man.  When he asked me to, I felt awful telling him I couldn't, that I had to stay with Zia.  I don't want them to ever feel like I'm choosing one over the other :(  But I think he understood when I told him she was just too little to go into a hospital and all of those germs.

The doctors, apparently, were superb.  The experience, late evening on a Saturday night in a big city, was serene.  I'm soooo glad they didn't just go to a plain' ol ER with its car crashes and whatnot.  The kid got a bed and a blanket and was offered TV or crayons or books (he chose Papa's stories (Nibble stories being his favorite thing on earth) instead.)  They checked him over and over and over and then wanted to do a CT.  E, having done more than his fair share of post-cancer scans was well aware of the radiation this would mean.  Fortunately, they offered to just watch him for the night instead and actually applauded our choice when we went that way.  Telling E most parents choose the CT rather than the night in the chair by the hospital bed.  I was, once again, so thankful for such a superb partner.

The first time they woke P to do his neuro tests... he wouldn't' wake up for forever... and E said it felt awful.  But the kid was just in a reeeeally deep sleep :)  He's all fine and they sent him home to be watched for the next week.  The next morning when he came downstairs the very first thing he did was to dangle from the top of the stair railing over the 5 foot drop below.  Yeesh.  I tried to request a moratorium on crazy for the next week without sticking too much fear into the equation ;)  Then we had a celebratory post-concussion day (Zia and I went out early and got P a favorite thing - flowers - for a little welcome home happiness)  Bagels and pizza and garlic oil pasta (P's faves) and movies and not jumping around :)

7 is kinda squirrelly.  P, with stick in mouth...

Just a couple of pic updates:

Baby girl in her bumbo.  She is getting all handsy and wants to grab everything.  When there's nothing to grab, she just grabs herself :)  

Zia luuuuuvs looking at the boys.  Papa gets huge gummy grins and Phoenix is most constantly observed.  Carting her on my hip while making lunch the other day, it hit me, put her in front of P!  So I did and wow.  She was more than content to watch him play the whole time I cooked.  Two might be busier than one, but they also keep each other busy (cuz P loves an audience:).  Love it!

Waking up to greet the day.  The baby is freaking full of smiles first thing.  Having a wee one that isn't constantly pissed off by food allergies is So FUN!!!

Today, P is cracking me up (yes, I did not finish the post before he woke up).  He is carefully asking if just about everything active is ok.  "So I can swing in my swing, but I shouldn't jump off of the chair onto my swing?  I can dangle over the wall or...?"  And telling me every little bodily quirk.  "My arms feel weaker.  Ok?"  And "I bumped my head on the back of the chair.  But not hard....  Ok?"

I'm glad he's attempting to be careful (not his usual strong suit:)  But I hope he forgets all about it in another week so he can go full throttle again!

Awwwww. Thanks EC.

P didn't want Zia and I to go to bed yesterday until he'd had a good snuggle.

A dear friend told me that when the kids start playing together, well, its a whole new level of happiness in a Mama's heart.  And she was So right.  I figured I had a couple of years to wait for this gem of joy, but the last week brought us the best holiday present ever.  

Zia's development this week (its amazing how at this age, you can count the changes in a day - its mesmerizing really) truly put her on P's radar.  She started trying to sit up.  Which is heeelarious, really.  Because, (she's only 3 months old) much like her attempts at crawling, she's just too damn little :)  But she wants to see it all.  So she started heaving her huge baby head up whenever I'd lay her in her little rocker. She'd rocket herself forward to a mostly sitting position... which she could only hold for a teeny bit, and then she'd drop back in exhaustion.  Repeat. Repeat, repeat.  P and I would just laugh.  And then, when her little baby abs were apparently tired but still trying, P would help her.  Awww.

Zia, sitting up to watch the world.

 So after much, much internal debate, I picked up a Bumbo off of Craigslist.  I won't bore you with my maternal angst, I'll just say its working, Really freaking well, for us.  Since she was getting less and less happy with her view from the floor and there are times I can't hold her safely (ummm, think chef knife and huge butternut squash that needs dicing...) she is fabulously content to stare at her toes from her new seated position.  And this, P LOVES.  She seems so much more "kid" sitting. Then he does "baby entertainment" and dances, hops and growls to make her giggle.  Which she does.  I love seeing her smile at him.  And he watches her, I catch him watching her, with the strangest little smile on his face.

In addition to her independent seating, she started using the potty.  Big, big brownie points in P's book.  Now that she's not shrieking all day anymore (well, we did have a couple of days last week after I posted but before the dairy worked its way out of our system that she cried and spit up and hiccuped and refluxed almost all day, each day - poor baby!!!  Methinks we found the main culprit for those early days of misery...) P's only complaints post crying-jags are based on body fluids.  He's not fond of the drool or the diaper dumps.  (In fact, after her first huge, ummm, bizness, I exclaimed out loud, I was so, erm, impressed.  P came running to see what the excitement was and instantly backed away, gagging, "I think I'm going to throw up."  I chuckled and continued wiping tushie.  But what did I hear?  Poor little P, throwing up.  For reals!  Yah, really not fond of poo that P;)  So, doing her duty out of her diapers has totally helped their bond.

And I'm surprisingly enjoying the ECing too.  She's in between snap sizes on her infant Kissaluvs, so I figured I'd finally jump into the ECing, kinda guessing I'd be a failure and run back to the cloth dipes as soon as her thighs chunked up to the next snaps.  I imagined days covered in urine and poo on the floor from me missing her cues.  So color me happy with shock that its so freaking natural for babies that she's slowly teaching me how to take her to the bathroom rather than spend hours at the changing table.  Heck, even E is doing it!  The first couple of evenings he requested a regular wool cover over the questionably covering prefold.  But handing her off this weekend, bum just barely covered in a prefold, he tried taking her to her potty and... she peed for him!  Then a little later, she poo'd for him!  Unfortunately, we've only figured out her poo cue (grunting and a look of concentration) and are just taking her to pee based on timing and when she seems to squiggle and want it.  Which works great when we're holding her since she totally won't pee on us (yes, I'm still flabbergasted.  I'd read it.  I'd seen it in other kids.  I wasn't sure I believed it.  Its true.)  But if we toss her on the floor, she's bound to whiz, and I can't tell what cue I'm missing...  But its only been 4 days, so I'm guessing she'll figure out how to tell us pretty soon :)

She also started grabbing things.  My dinner plate's days are numbered.  And she's enjoying P's hair as handlebars.  So he tries handing her toys and jumps with joy when she holds it or shakes it for a second before dropping it - always more interested in what her brother is doing than whatever she's holding.  They love to hold hands and just grin at each other.

Dinosaur peekaboo (she addddddores peekaboo)  Good thing she seems pretty tame to growls and big ol boy raucousness...  (Oh!  And, old story I keep forgetting to journal.  The pink butterfly bassinet? My mom went to pick us up a nice white one when she was here to help.  P went with.  No, no, he said when he saw her grab the dull white.  We need the pink butterfly one because, and I quote, "Its pretty like my sister." :)

So our delight this lusciously long holiday weekend was watching the kids watch each other.  And this weekend, joining us downstairs after waking up, the very first thing he said was to ask if we'd seen Zia yet.  (I was kinda confused, since she was asleep in the wrap on my front.  Maybe he was so used to seeing me with the enormous green growth  that he'd forgotten my actual stature?!) No, he clarified, had we seen her awake yet?  How was she?

Now E just has to come to terms with P carting her around (insert sheer look of horror from Superman).  Cuz the Little Man is really ready for the whole big brother role...