Food, Formula and Freedom

I started testing foods last week. I was so excited. After living on millet, rice, turkey, chicken, apples, avocado, squash and carrots for 7 weeks, I was jonesing for, well, almost anything;).  And what better time for new foods than Thanksgiving?  I would be infinitely thankful...

But beef brought lots of bitching and yams led to all out yells. By the Wednesday night before Tday, I was in tears of self-pity. Traditionally, I would have had a host of yummies prepared for the following day.  But thanks to the damn yams, the baby had not embodied the spirit if cooperation, and I had only managed to leave flours and butter warming on the cabinet all day.  Fine, fine, the boys could piggy-back on everyone else's victuals, but I guessed both meals would be devoid of millet.  And the turkeys would likely sport a butter basting.  Bah.

But everything is better after a night's sleep (even a nursed through night's sleep!) and apples and avocado were easily acceptable amid the next morning's excitement to leave.  Heck, I would look at it as a freeing technique.  A sweet little challenge along the road to "no expectations."  Why couldn't Tday just be about family and thanks?  Apples and avocados?  Screw pies and stuffing!

Zia and I weathered the tasty filled tables, buoyed by baby smiles, sans yams.  And I laughed later when I saw this chart:

Except for the vegan bit, we had it nailed ;)

Despite my best intentions, some dismay crept in.  She hadn't done well with any food additions yet.  I'd kinda figured 7 weeks ago that we'd go 2 weeks eating everything but the big triggers and then start adding those back in too.  Figure out which of the big guns were gonna go until she was older.  And then I'd spent 5 more weeks dropping more and more (and more) foods.  

Which meant my loved ones (even, gasp, E!) started dropping the F word.  Yah, formula.  Seemingly such an easy way out.  What was I?  Silly stubborn?  Heck, E could even heat the shit in the middle of the night!  I wouldn't be on perma-baby-duty!

Now, I'm not gonna knock this mind-set.  I know a lotta awesome mamas that go this route.  The constancy is too much.  They work and abhor pumping.  It feels like the hubby has it easy.  Or maybe they hate millet :)  I know the feeling of freedom figures into this for a few.  Whether that be the freedom to eat whatever you want or the freedom to take your ta-ta's to town on your own schedule.  Whatever the various reasons, formula is first choice in the first world nations.  So it seems pretty silly to some to be so bothered with this breast business.  Especially without sleep or chocolate to back you up!  

But there are a whole host of reasons WHO recommends breast as best for the first two years.  I'm not going to bother with links here.  The studies are countless.  Assuming the mother isn't seriously malnourished, the fact is unarguable (at this time, at least.  Maybe someday they'll have a clever chemical concoction to rival thousands of years of evolution, but color me doubtful on that one:)  

And my personal reason can be summed up in that one word. Evolution.  Cultural trends (from deities to dishwashing to the damn F word) come and go.  But babies evolved to do certain things.  In a certain way.  To eat a perfectly balanced food that is always clean and untainted by unwantables, that grows and changes as the baby does.  To be held while they sleep (read that short link!), that physical contact providing them safety and the stimulation they need for their brains to grow properly.  Three bedroom houses and baby monitors have popped up faster than baby brains evolve - they're still operating under jungle rules.  And it seems like massive cheating (and plain 'ol mean) to switch the rules on the little squishies without being able to tell them :)  Call me a "Continuum Concept" crazy, but I drank that kool-aide without ever even reading the book.  It just jives with me.

And, after the formula companies adding some new, essential something or other into their mixes every few years, (ummm, what about the babies that didn't get the newest new and improved formula?!) label me loonie for not trusting chemists to grow my baby's essentials.  Nah, me and my millet will do just fine.  

Yah, it sucks to never eat out.  And I miss cooking one meal for the whole family.  And Ethan has been on the wrong end of my hairy eyeball a Lot in the last month.  (The man, still feeding freely, seems to forget my limited choices, offering me yogurt, eggs or pizza with well fed gaiety...)  But, cliche as it is, and despite my long whiny post on the subject, Zia is more than worth it.  I'm hoping we caught it all early enough that she'll eat freely at four, her gut all healthy and her palate strangely fond of millet...

Of course, I'm kinda cocky right now.  She's all smiles and I've added pumpkin seeds, quinoa and the most delicious raw cranberry orange relish (well done, Daddy!!!) this side of 7 weeks.  If tomatoes tank tomorrow, I might change my tune :)

  

Artemisia: her first month

There will be a picture here...soon... phone blogging challenges me!!


I'm a little behind on my weekly update because mean Mastitis struck, again. (Message to Universe: The constant challenges to our nursing relationship? Not so fun. If you're wanting to test my dedication (like child led weaning last time wasn't proof enough...) please give up. You'll be surprised how many 104 fevers I can muddle through on turkey, chicken, millet and squash alone. Yah, that's right. In fact, I'm looking at this strict Elimination Diet bizness as palate expanding - so, nice try, and Thanks. (Call me stubborn :))



So Miss Z turned two months last weekend! I've talked about her tiny trials and tribulations - but I haven't really described her yet! I mean, at first she was just a simple, sleepy (screaming), squishy, but no more! So...

She is a squishy, only occasionally squawking, rarely screaming, smiley sweeetie. (Granted, squash, once my favorite harbinger of fall, now makes me gag, but the elimination diet has definitely been worth it:). She rolled, back to front, a week before she turned two months and rolled front to back a couple days later. And though she has been giving out good guffaws for a couple of weeks, that first precious bell like baby giggle was given to Superman just a couple nights before her two month mark. (The sound of both my kids' first giggles are cemented in my brain. Its, seriously, like the heavens opening and angels chiming magic harps. The sorta sound you'd think would stop wars. Baby giggles bring me a giddy clarity where nothing but love exists - if only for a moment!)

Physically? She seems to be growing quickly, leaving too small clothing in her wake. Her skin has cleared, the better to show off a very pink complexion (highlighted by her two rosy stork bites: one like a swath of eye shadow over her right eye, the other on the bridge of her nose (a twin to P's post birth). Her hair is still a mystery... As of now, she's a skunk. Her sides seem a light red but she rocks a light brown longer patch on top. To confuse the issue further, her eyebrows are so light as to be nonexistent. And her eyelashes are light like her sides and so long they rest on her fat little cheeks and curl back up. Otherwise, she's basic baby ;)

Funny future predictions:

Halloween choice: Shakespeare's Titania. No Dumbo costume here! Both sides of the family sport some serious ears and P wears the proof (I, of course, think he's perfect). But Zia has little pixie ears. So surprising with her lineage, it was the first thing my mother happily sighed over :)

Profession: Midwife. For two reasons :) First, we wanted a name that had a Greek link, to go with her brother's. The goddess Artemis is our top fave. Goddess of the wild, the hunt, she was brave and independent, loving the woods and animals. Never needing a man herself, she was, nevertheless, also goddess of childbirth, a midwife to those in need. In addition to her name's inspiration, is Zia's total addiction to womb sounds when napping. Perfect prep for listening to that Doppler:)

Passion: Painting. The name Artemis wasn't "girly" enough for the boys, but they loved "Artemisia.". And I love Artemisia Gentileschi, the first woman accepted into the Academy of Art and Design in Florence, an amazing paintress and a woman reshaping a woman's place in the 1600's. In addition to this is Miss Z's intense love of looking. Upon her arrival, her midwives were shocked at how she really looked and tracked, so intently, so early. Less of a boon at naptime these days, I'm sure it will serve her well someday...

Favorite garden planting: Artemisia, of course:). Its a pretty plant. And we really wanted a name that was something from nature. It was fun to find one that combined nature, Greek history and strong females - it was a tall order :)))

Favorite Place: Out West (of course:). We luuuurv the West Coast so far. The geography, the climate, the friendliness. And her middle name does pay homage to our journey West while she baked. But it was also meant to mimic her brother's name. Hudson was an attempt to remember where we were when he started (Brooklyn, thus we chose the Hudson river.). For Zia, we were living just off of Prospect Park West (back in Brooklyn again.) Plus, the word West conjures images of pioneering and exploration and there is nothing more this gypsy heart hopes for than eye opening travels for my children :)

Favorite sport: Gymnastics. The trampoline, in particular. Or perhaps the second bit of bungee jumping. Anything that includes serious bouncing. A movement she gets pretty agitated without when she's sleepy:)

Fave restaurant: Tapas. Small plates. Or an all day buffet sorta place. (Assuming they serve gluten free, dairy free, egg free, soy free, nut free...) When she's awake, she is the consummate snacker. She has about 20 minutes right when she wakes up during which she's happy on the floor, Superman's arm, whatever. After that? She wants to be beside her snack plate, sip a second, look around, take another sip, smile, sip, yawn. Then starts the sip-squawk-better-bounce bit, lovingly dubbed The Milkshake (har-har:). Try in any way to elongate the time between her awake hors d'oeuvres (by, ya know, showering or eating while someone else holds her) and she screams as if she hasn't eaten in two days and those two small sips will save. her. life. Nevermind the sips from a minute ago :). Which leads me to:

Past Life Origin: Nepal. Where babies nurse multiple times per hour and no one would expect anything different. We'd fit in spectacularly:)

Relationship status: Strictly monogamous. Her future partner will enjoy endless devotion and smiles. But, as my mother pulled out her well worn joke from P's early childhood ("attachment parenting, eh? Well, it worked, he's attached!) during our first few days, she pretty quickly updated it to: "We only thought Phoenix was attached!". And its true. By this age I could be away from P for an hour or a bit more, without complaints. Z lasts 15-20 minutes - at most (often with complaints:). And only if she has just woken and nursed. Dedicated:)

Future BFF: Phoenix! He's hopelessly devoted himself :). Noise (baby wails) has been his only complaint so far, perfectly weathering waiting for me when Zia has needs. And it seems that has even evolved already. On the ride home from the airport, she fell apart. I reached out to P to pat his leg (knowing the enclosed space and her bellows to be his hot spot) and he said, "Its ok, Mama. Her screams don't bother me so much anymore, I just feel bad for her." Awww! Then, a few days later, he was working through a big disappointment and Zia started screaming. I was trying to hug on him and kinda bounce her at the same time and he turned his sad little strong face up and said, "You better help the baby, Mama.". There had been no way for me to choose who to help (I want to be there for them both! And neither was in acute distress making the decision simple ;) and here he gave me permission to help the wee one. Not even in a martyr-ish kinda way, just true empathy for his sis. (Can you stand one more? Bear with me. I wanna remember these for when they are older and arguing :) Everyone here has been sick with a nasty virus. Somehow, Zia and I have avoided it so far. Then P's Aunt got sick with a truly terrible tummy bug and P was exposed to it. So I asked him if I could put some oregano oil on the soles of his feet, to help him fight his virus and the bug, that the tummy one would make it very difficult for me to be able to feed his sister (milk production and extreme dehydration not going hand in hand!). The kid HATES oil (or anything sticky) on his skin - I figured it was a lost cause, but worth asking... He said yes instantly. Whatever he needed to do. The next day he was talking to me and all of a sudden looked panic stricken. "I accidentally touched the baby with my finger" he breathed. Lol. E and P had been "quarantined" from holding her until they felt better and P, apparently, took this job Very Seriously. Yah, I've got older brothers, and this sorta devotion isn't easily forgotten :)

So, that's the rundown at two months. I give it all a week to totally change :)

Whew...

We were not thrown from the plane. In fact, the day (post frenzied packing/cleaning/house exit..) felt like a run of good luck.

New laws in our favor meant P could keep his shoes on (his pet peeve) and Zia could stay snuggled in her wrap through security... until takeoff. But she had slept enough by then to not wail and didn't need to be bounced until the seatbelt sign stopped. The guy beside us reassured me he'd handle anyone who said a peep and bouncing at altitude worked just fine. The second flight started shaky - she was trying to go to sleep and in full bounce mode when we took off... I swayed like a madwoman in my seat while she gave some warning squaks and Superman, typically the most rule abiding boy on earth, urged me to "just stand!" before the captain even gave the go ahead...

But we made it and had an awesome welcoming committee at the airport to reward our long day. Phoenix was instantly in heaven and Miss Z didn't do any full on screaming until we were on the drive home!

Which had seemed absolutely impossible just a few days before. But I dropped more suspect foods (oats and sunflower seeds) and we took Zia to an acupuncturist for an accupressure treatment and I'd been working her digestive pressure points as instructed since and I started a new approach to her napping (that includes some cloying womb sounds;)... So, something changed in the days before we flew - though we're not exactly sure which or what :). But she has been feeling so amazing the last few days that I'm going to start testing foods, one at a time, every four days. Of course, at that rate, it seems it may take until her first prom to know what she reacts to ;)

And though P wasn't as psyched to come to Kansas as he usually is (have I mentioned he Really, realllllly likes Portland?!) he is having a blast. Farm
life is fun for a newly minted 7 year old. And he's sublimely pleased with how much family time he's already achieved. The weather turned today, as it does in the Midwest, but we had a jolly good time wandering the woods before the chill hit. And without all of the screaming coming from the bundle on my chest, we've both really enjoyed it!

I don't know how to move and label pics when blogging from my phone...(A, any suggestions?). But somewhere should be Zia, shockingly happy during her first cab ride and P, wandering and tossing rocks and checking out beaver marks...

Freakshow flyers...

I'm going to try a post from my phone since my computer is officially a glorified white noise machine these days (there is no room on my lap for a sleeping baby (yes, she is even held while she's asleep:) And a laptop. So bear with my clumsy thumb...

It's been a long week. E has been working around the clock and Zia is still a hot mess. I've dropped more foods and am hoping to figure our her food triggers soon. Sleep is in short supply this week, and I caught myself dreamily thinking (during an unusually painful bout of heart-wrenching screams) that if I subsisted on air, maybe she wouldn't cry anymore.... Then I realized logic has officially left the building:).

But a few rainbows: By this point with Phoenix, I was totally overwhelmed with the constant needs, the lack of brushed teeth, the lack of sleep. This time, though Zia is in my arms a good 23 hours s day (no joke - maybe she's crying cuz she's tired of me ;) I am still really happy to hold her sweet little body. (Though the bouncing does get old on these old knees:). And, maybe its eating these crazy few simple foods, but the lack of sleep, though removing logical thinking, isn't too bad, either. Yesterday, as I bounced Z while making (separate, of course;) food for P and I and playing with the Little Man at the same time, I actually laughed at how hard I thought it was the first time :). But it's easier just because she isn't my first :)

Long story short: I'm PETRIFIED to fly this freakshow cross country so soon. Were it not the only time all of our families gather in one location, there is no way we'd be doing this. I, quite literally, fear being stoned to death or thrown from the plane (stones being in short supply at altitude) by fellow travelers. Seriously. I think of canceling the trip daily. And until the hatch door is sealed, I reserve the right to bolt. The image of her melting down and me not allowed to stand and bounce her... it gives me hives. This could be some serious sort of ugly...

But, on a lighter note:). P came running up to me this week:
P:Mama, I just got the blind mouse thing!
Me: wha?
P: The blind mouse thing - I just got it! (big grin)
Me: wha? Umm... Tell me more...
P: they're blind! they cut off their tails! (insert blank look from me (hey - I'm sleep deprived here!). Get it? they were chasing the farmer's wife, but since they couldn't see what they were doing, they cut off THEIR tales!

oh Em Gee. He hated that rhyme when he was little. Now I know why! Seemed like a senseless blood bath... until he got the irony of it all:)

And That is what I'm hoping for when we fly. What may seem like a bloodbath (you think I jest - that I exaggerate - hahahahahahaha) will eventually be a good laugh. Pu-leaze Universe?

Hurling and fistcuffs

Seems both of the kids have been working on self-control this week.    Zia is obsessed with her hands and figuring out how to control them.  So obsessed, in fact, that she practices (and practices and practices) getting them into her mouth at night, while she sleeps in the crook of my arm.  I'm learning to ignore the practice flails and wake for the hunger ones.  Learning curves for all ;)

P, after a happy Halloween (for which I nevertheless felt some guilt -at the lameness of it all.  Just as he is old enough to do some great projects and really get out to pumpkin patches or something, just when his dream of a front porch to decorate finally materializes... I'm MIA.  Next year, I kept reassuring myself, next year he'll still be young enough and I'll be better at juggling...)  But we managed to finally carve the pumpkin just before dinner.  And this year he actually did it himself!  Except for removing the guts, of course, yuck ;)  He drew his design and sawed away with his carving kit.  The neighbor boy joined and watched in awe (P had crashed their family carving party the day before:)

Snapped in the dark during treating, but at least finally snapped ;)

Then it was a mad dash to do dinner and don the Harry Potter costume before Zia started her "bewitching hour" ritual.  We didn't quite make it,  thus the absence of cool costume pictures :(  But we did make it to the neighbors in time so that the boys could trick-or-treat together, along with a couple of other kids (of whom, the older princess and P had quite the courtship;)  He was so happy being with his buds and collecting candy that he barely even noticed a few blocks later when I had to exit with a screaming baby who would no longer play second fiddle :)

Unfortunately, being allergic to all things unnatural and Halloween don't go together as well as peanut butter and chocolate.  P ate some of his candy a few years back and was so miserable he hasn't tried any again... until this year.  The lure was too much.  He carefully put it in piles (per usual) and spent forever looking at wrappers and asking names and asking me to describe the flavors.  And then he decided it.  This year, he would eat some.  "Its only one time a year, Mama," he reassured me :)  I agreed!

He was very careful the first night.  Avoiding the nutty ones or any with obvious food coloring, he selected the two I said had been my favorites.  We were both impressed when he woke up feeling fine the next morning.  Oh, happy day!  Could he be outgrowing this?  (Not that I want him to eat shit, but it would be nice for it to not make him sick if he does:)  The next day he ate, erm, quite a bit.  Not a lot by a normal kid standard, but a lot for the Little Man.  He woke up puking the next morning with a bright red tush to boot.  After a few trips to the toilet to hurl his already empty tummy, he looked askew at his candy filled pumpkin and asked, "Where can I put that?"  He now has No desire to eat traditional candy ever. again.  (At least not for a  few more Halloweens ;)  Super self-control ;)

Mine is growing stronger too, as I forgo favorite foods.  I really buckled down this week and was super careful to stick to turkey, potatoes, apples and brown rice (with a little pumpkin seeds, millet bread and avocados for variety;)  Poor Z started going downhill.  Waking every 5 minutes at bedtime, shrieking.  P was scared :(  E was alarmed.  Then it hit him.  His brother is allergic to potatoes.  Oh Em Gee.  So I stopped the sweet potato habit and whalah.  Happier baby!  I hope this video loads.  I haven't edited it, so excuse the babble, but there's (post-potato) baby smiles!!!