This has been the longest break I've taken since I began blogging P's every adorability years ago. The break itself says a lot. Things are changing. People change. Life keeps moving...
I have so much I want to remember from this period in our lives, so much I want to jot down that I hardly know where to start. Yet, I like a nice outline, thesis and conclusion :) But not the time to craft it, so I'm going to try and ramble. Regularly. Even if the posts don't get "finished." After all, a little is more than nothing.
The sun is out this winter, our regular, seasonal period of hibernation that typically happens with short days has been challenged by this draught and P's growing sociability. With two in tow, I'm finding this a stroke of luck. Long, dark days shut in lead to many sibling situations.
Speaking of shut-in, the house has been a silent (star) character in our lives this past year and a half. I don't talk about it much, but it is a huge piece of how we are where we are and how we are doing. E and I have lived in lots and lots of places in these past 25 years together and this house feels like our home in a way none have. A lot of that is probably because it was in need of so much love that it feels personal now. But I think a lot of it is that it suits us so splendidly that we feel truly settled for the first time, ever. With its quirks and cold spots and worn areas of interest awaiting more love, it feels just right. Then again, maybe it isn't the house at all, maybe it's our age, or having two kids, or this city we have fallen for...
Regardless, it has played a part in our children's formative years in a way that I am eager to hear their thoughts on as adults. I'd hoped to find a place where they could see us work, where we could mentor real skills, where our time wouldn't just be spent on indulgent pursuits (nothing against those, though;). Hand sanding floors with P, shoveling dirt with Z, I initially wanted these activities in our lives not just to cut costs on a home purchase (granted, a definite deal maker;) but to add to our homeschooling life, to their image of what life is, or what a life can be. Less consum-er, more do-er.
Little did I realize it would also make for a deliciously happy life for me. I've struggled with setting aside art since P arrived. Had Z come first, I think I could have still made space for it, but P is a special sort and left no room for anything else in our lives for so long. (I've recently picked back up the "Active Alert" parenting book that saved our sanity when P was a preschooler. I'd wholly forgotten it, how I don't know. E and I have been pondering P's quirks of late and how to assist him when it pooped back up on my radar (as insanely helpful things like to do) and has saved my sanity again. I should, in fact, be reading it right now instead of blogging. But that's just it, right? There's always something more pressing than journaling for the kids, and thus it goes undone.)
Where was I. The house. Anyway, it has taken lots of creative problem solving and lots of manual attention (there's few things I like more than manual labor I've willingly started) and that has fed my soul just when I really needed it. So I am thankful.
And the kids are jumping in just as I had hoped. Sure, they often tire of tasks before it's all finished, but I feel like Huck Finn every freaking week. And there is something really delightful to me when I'm shoveling and soon P is shoveling with me, chatting a mile a minute and Z is suddenly right in there with her tiny sandbox shovel and she is organizing us. Then we all glow when the task is done and our home is more our home and our bodies are tired. I just love it.
Of course, sometimes it's less ideal. I'm lashing bamboo with wire and the kids are chasing each other over my piles and Zia is tired or P is cold or they are pushing each other's buttons, screaming (always, the loudness of it all!!!) and I just need Two More Minutes.
So, for me, it's finding the balance. A little special time with Z. A little focused time with P. Time out of the house for P's various social engagements. Time in the house to just keep up with our lives and cook and eat. Time in the attic for kid's projects. And then time on our beloved Behemoth.
I remember my mother's response to gift inquiries was always "time." I get it now :). I wonder how the kids will look back on our balancing act. If they will blame the Behemoth for hours un-hiked or un-drawn or if they will look at floorboards and think, I sanded those. I know how to make a fence. Paint a wall. I dig a mean hole.
Only more time will tell...
I have so much I want to remember from this period in our lives, so much I want to jot down that I hardly know where to start. Yet, I like a nice outline, thesis and conclusion :) But not the time to craft it, so I'm going to try and ramble. Regularly. Even if the posts don't get "finished." After all, a little is more than nothing.
The sun is out this winter, our regular, seasonal period of hibernation that typically happens with short days has been challenged by this draught and P's growing sociability. With two in tow, I'm finding this a stroke of luck. Long, dark days shut in lead to many sibling situations.
Speaking of shut-in, the house has been a silent (star) character in our lives this past year and a half. I don't talk about it much, but it is a huge piece of how we are where we are and how we are doing. E and I have lived in lots and lots of places in these past 25 years together and this house feels like our home in a way none have. A lot of that is probably because it was in need of so much love that it feels personal now. But I think a lot of it is that it suits us so splendidly that we feel truly settled for the first time, ever. With its quirks and cold spots and worn areas of interest awaiting more love, it feels just right. Then again, maybe it isn't the house at all, maybe it's our age, or having two kids, or this city we have fallen for...
Regardless, it has played a part in our children's formative years in a way that I am eager to hear their thoughts on as adults. I'd hoped to find a place where they could see us work, where we could mentor real skills, where our time wouldn't just be spent on indulgent pursuits (nothing against those, though;). Hand sanding floors with P, shoveling dirt with Z, I initially wanted these activities in our lives not just to cut costs on a home purchase (granted, a definite deal maker;) but to add to our homeschooling life, to their image of what life is, or what a life can be. Less consum-er, more do-er.
Little did I realize it would also make for a deliciously happy life for me. I've struggled with setting aside art since P arrived. Had Z come first, I think I could have still made space for it, but P is a special sort and left no room for anything else in our lives for so long. (I've recently picked back up the "Active Alert" parenting book that saved our sanity when P was a preschooler. I'd wholly forgotten it, how I don't know. E and I have been pondering P's quirks of late and how to assist him when it pooped back up on my radar (as insanely helpful things like to do) and has saved my sanity again. I should, in fact, be reading it right now instead of blogging. But that's just it, right? There's always something more pressing than journaling for the kids, and thus it goes undone.)
Where was I. The house. Anyway, it has taken lots of creative problem solving and lots of manual attention (there's few things I like more than manual labor I've willingly started) and that has fed my soul just when I really needed it. So I am thankful.
And the kids are jumping in just as I had hoped. Sure, they often tire of tasks before it's all finished, but I feel like Huck Finn every freaking week. And there is something really delightful to me when I'm shoveling and soon P is shoveling with me, chatting a mile a minute and Z is suddenly right in there with her tiny sandbox shovel and she is organizing us. Then we all glow when the task is done and our home is more our home and our bodies are tired. I just love it.
Of course, sometimes it's less ideal. I'm lashing bamboo with wire and the kids are chasing each other over my piles and Zia is tired or P is cold or they are pushing each other's buttons, screaming (always, the loudness of it all!!!) and I just need Two More Minutes.
So, for me, it's finding the balance. A little special time with Z. A little focused time with P. Time out of the house for P's various social engagements. Time in the house to just keep up with our lives and cook and eat. Time in the attic for kid's projects. And then time on our beloved Behemoth.
I remember my mother's response to gift inquiries was always "time." I get it now :). I wonder how the kids will look back on our balancing act. If they will blame the Behemoth for hours un-hiked or un-drawn or if they will look at floorboards and think, I sanded those. I know how to make a fence. Paint a wall. I dig a mean hole.
Only more time will tell...
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