Solo snow player

There's a funny sense of (false) permanence to the kids' developments for me today.  In trying to decide what I should ramble about, everything that is going on with the kids seems so true and obvious that it doesn't require noting.  Which is ridiculous :)

For example, P played outside by himself today.

When we sat to breakfast and had to call him in, E and I realized the hugeness of it.  But it's been slowly coming on for months now.  Last summer, he wouldn't go out back by himself to save his soul.  I had to carry him down during is fevers so that he wouldn't be alone in the house while Z stretched her legs.  He refused to play upstairs in his room unless we were all upstairs.  This was nothing new, this was P.  The kid who as a toddler would melt into a puddle on the other side of our transparent shower curtain because we were separated by a whole piece of plastic and water spray.  Who still goes to bed scrunched into his father's armpit if there is room.  He likes closeness :)

But this winter he has started disappearing upstairs for tiny bits to grab pieces for projects.  Or to load up on Legos.  And sometimes he stays up there and builds for a bit.  When we were in Kansas he spent the night at Grandpapas house Multiple Times.  Now there is a huge blanket of snow blessing our block and he knows it is fleeting.  And so he has been suiting up and sliding about solo.  Seamlessly.  Happily.  This is so huge for him.

It's even made space for him to take a few classes.  He was increasingly interested in class after his good friend started school this year.  So we signed up for two classes at Village Home (side note: to have landed in a place that has a school for unschoolers is unbelievable :). While he enjoyed his teachers and the kids, he was over it all waaaaaay before the semester was over and his one morning a week commitment was done.  (And that's while missing lots of class due to fevers!). 

So no more school-like classes for now :) But this term he's taking a mixed sports class and a bouldering class with Parks and Rec.  He loves it.  He's still happy to miss a week here and there, but he really does enjoy it.  And is handling Z and I leaving the building during class (there's a playground right outside) really well.  

Last week was freezing and I brought enough craft supplies to make a Macy's float so Z could make it through the 2 hours.  Watching P was such a hoot.  He is so damn agile.  There is some waiting in line while other kids take turns, but he hasn't complained about this.  Actually, he seems to make the most of it, jogging laps while he waits his turn or climbing something nearby.  It makes me so thankful that we can homeschool. While he certainly Can sit and concentrate for long periods, the amount of movement he requires during the day would make his school desk into his jail cell.

Haha, and with that, he is calling for me :)

February 2014, it's been a bit...

This has been the longest break I've taken since I began blogging P's every adorability years ago.  The break itself says a lot.  Things are changing.  People change.  Life keeps moving...

I have so much I want to remember from this period in our lives, so much I want to jot down that I hardly know where to start.  Yet, I like a nice outline, thesis and conclusion :) But not the time to craft it, so I'm going to try and ramble.  Regularly.  Even if the posts don't get "finished."  After all, a little is more than nothing.

The sun is out this winter,  our regular, seasonal period of hibernation that typically happens with short days has been challenged by this draught and P's growing sociability.  With two in tow, I'm finding this a stroke of luck.  Long, dark days shut in lead to many sibling situations. 

Speaking of shut-in, the house has been a silent (star) character in our lives this past year and a half.  I don't talk about it much, but it is a huge piece of how we are where we are and how we are doing.  E and I have lived in lots and lots of places in these past 25 years together and this house feels like our home in a way none have.  A lot of that is probably because it was in need of so much love that it feels personal now.  But I think a lot of it is that it suits us so splendidly that we feel truly settled for the first time, ever.  With its quirks and cold spots and worn areas of interest awaiting more love, it feels just right.  Then again, maybe it isn't the house at all, maybe it's our age, or having two kids, or this city we have fallen for...

Regardless, it has played a part in our children's formative years in a way that I am eager to hear their thoughts on as adults.  I'd hoped to find a place where they could see us work, where we could mentor real skills, where our time wouldn't just be spent on indulgent pursuits (nothing against those, though;). Hand sanding floors with P, shoveling dirt with Z, I initially wanted these activities in our lives not just to cut costs on a home purchase (granted, a definite deal maker;) but to add to our homeschooling life, to their image of what life is, or what a life can be.  Less consum-er, more do-er.

Little did I realize it would also make for a deliciously happy life for me.  I've struggled with setting aside art since P arrived.  Had Z come first, I think I could have still made space for it, but P is a special sort and left no room for anything else in our lives for so long.  (I've recently picked back up the "Active Alert" parenting book that saved our sanity when P was a preschooler.  I'd wholly forgotten it, how I don't know. E and I have been pondering P's quirks of late and how to assist him when it pooped back up on my radar (as insanely helpful things like to do) and has saved my sanity again. I should, in fact, be reading it right now instead of blogging.  But that's just it, right?  There's always something more pressing than journaling for the kids, and thus it goes undone.)

Where was I.  The house.  Anyway, it has taken lots of creative problem solving and lots of manual attention (there's few things I like more than manual labor I've willingly started) and that has fed my soul just when I really needed it.  So I am thankful.  

And the kids are jumping in just as I had hoped.  Sure, they often tire of tasks before it's all finished, but I feel like Huck Finn every freaking week.  And there is something really delightful to me when I'm shoveling and soon P is shoveling with me, chatting a mile a minute and Z is suddenly right in there with her tiny sandbox shovel and she is organizing us.  Then we all glow when the task is done and our home is more our home and our bodies are tired.  I just love it.

Of course, sometimes it's less ideal.  I'm lashing bamboo with wire and the kids are chasing each other over my piles and Zia is tired or P is cold or they are pushing each other's buttons, screaming (always, the loudness of it all!!!) and I just need Two More Minutes.

So, for me, it's finding the balance.  A little special time with Z.  A little focused time with P.  Time out of the house for P's various social engagements.  Time in the house to just keep up with our lives and cook and eat.  Time in the attic for kid's projects.  And then time on our beloved Behemoth.

I remember my mother's response to gift inquiries was always "time."  I get it now :). I wonder how the kids will look back on our balancing act.  If they will blame the Behemoth for hours un-hiked or un-drawn or if they will look at floorboards and think, I sanded those.  I know how to make a fence.  Paint a wall.  I dig a mean hole.

Only more time will tell...