Dagnabbit

Double dog drat. Zia had blood in her poo today, so something is definitely not working. She's had a lot of mucus in her poo the last few days, but I was hoping it was drool related. Honestly, she could have had a bit of blood for the last couple of days and I just didn't realize it because I've been nailing the ECing and catching her poos in the big potty. Today I missed one (right after she had just gone!) and it was obvious in her diaper :(. I'm feeling guilty for not nailing this down and messing her little system up.

Gawd knows why, but I listened to Superman, who insisted that eggs were safe. (This, from the man that still offers me butter.) So I had dropped the nuts, seeds, chocolate and nightshades buy kept in the eggs. I started with just a titch in baked goods, but have had them the last few mornings for breakfast. They may be the culprit. Or, it could be the cane sugar (the first time I've used sugar in 5 months) from those yuuuummy ginger snap cookies we had this week. Or it could be the beans I ate last night (I'd stayed away from beans for a bit because of the nut/legume connection.). But, of course, I don't know which it is, so I'll drop them all and wait a few weeks, again. Blech.

Poor, poor baby. She can't sleep because of her rash and her tummy troubles, so our nights are rough and her naps nonexistent the last few days. But she is suuuch a dear, I'm just head over heals. Holding her cuddly little body (she hugs me!) gives me the warm fuzzies :). And the love she shows for me surprises me every day.

Little Man is rocking a cold the last few days, playing it mellow. But when we do get out for our walks, his fingers are usually legs and he walks them on all of the moss covered stone walls in the neighborhood, mesmerized by the tiny ecosystems everywhere. Spring continues to make us all Very Happy here. The flowers blow me away!

Discouraged

February is full on Spring here.  Which totally wigs me out!  Flowers in February???  Fifties too??  Typically, in NYC, I'm hardened to 30's and low 40's by the time March rolls around (those felt like warm reprieves;), hardened to the greys and blank brown tree trunks.   But after such a mild, green (flower!!) filled winter,  today's surprising chill has caught me by surprise.  But hibernating is nice, too:)

Less nice is Zia's skin.  Ugh, this is so discouraging.  Some reactions are so obvious, I know not to touch those foods (potatoes much?!  Milk much?)  But others are harder.  They take longer to show and then I'm left wondering whether it was Monday's new food or Friday's.  (I know, so slow the eff down, girl?!) I took back out tomatoes and sunbutter and she seemed to feel better. Rash improved, a titch.  Added in almonds.  (Yummmmmmmmmmmmmm.)  Rash got worse and spread.  Mucus in her poo.  She spent her nights clawing her face and crying.  Dropped almonds.  Maybe a slight improvement?  It stopped getting worse at least, but not good enough.  So I stepped back further, chocolate and eggs.  Still no dice.  Discouraging.  Maybe I'm expecting improvement too quickly.  I'm going to hold fort here, hoping time will tell.  At this point, I just want some gosh darn sleep and to just eat.  Ya know, just walk into the kitchen and just grab something.  Or, better yet, eat out :)  

Ah well, its just the tired talking.  Most days I see it as a blessing, something that is making me (and therefore Z) full of health.  

On a happier note, the girl grew hair!  (Have I blogged this already?)  The bald is being replaced by ever thickening bronze.  Its a very strange color.  And I think it will be wavy too.  

She is also moving around a crrrrazy amount.   Glorious baby days are really numbered now.  (Too soon, too soon.)  She bounces herself from a sitting position into a crawling position and rocks, ominously. She's taken a few tentative scoots forward and I'm eyeing sockets and cords quite seriously these days.  Baby-proofing is imminent (Legos?  I'm looking at You.)  Then, this morning, she grabbed ahold of two bars and pulled herself up to standing.  I know some mums get a big ol' kick outta their kids doing stuff early (like pulling to stand at freakin five months).  I am NOT one of those moms.  I very much want a prolonged baby phase here.  Sweet and snuggly.  And still.  Zia has other ideas.  

Along with the need to motor has come the grabbiest hands in the West.  And oh how she gets pissed when thwarted!  Too funny.  Once she grabs it, she wants it in her mouth.  All. the. time.  And will flail her hands around in search of something, anything, to grab and mouth whenever she drops a toy.   What else...  Oh, she took a bath the other day (a rarity;) and reeeeally liked it.  She found her splash ;)  And she initiates games.  She has quite the repertoire and they all make her smile and laugh.  But there is nothing she loves more than her brother.  Seriously.

Well, the damn rice is done.  Yum, sigh, yay;)

Progresss

:)

Right now

we're enjoying dirt. And sticks. I love little boys:)

This baby

is gonna give me deeep smile lines :). She is joy. Especially now that the sunbutter and tomatoes are working their way out of her system. Superman had been right (of course;). She was grumpy during the days of sunbutter. Poor thing, barely recovered from one sensitivity and here we go again! I finally got up the nerve to test a nut (almonds) today.... Here's hoping they work better for Z than they do for P.... I hate to make her giggle fade ;)

Zia, upset with her favorite toy, the abacus.

Penises, parsnips. Nightshades, not wheat?

Oh the brains of big brothers...

Just a few quick notes...  P is a tad obsessed with the zoo here.  It is beautiful and doable and he went TWICE last week ;)  When we walked into the busy indoor elephant area he exclaimed, quite loudly, "That is the biggest penis in the entire world!"  Apparently, a papa elephant...

Zoo, you can't see the misty mountains in the background, but they are there ;)

The bamboo obsession...

Meanwhile, I'm totally perplexed about Z's rash :(  After a week of gluten free, it has come and gone and now is showing up on other areas of her body :(  She is scratching at her neck at night where angry eczema patches are popping up (probably exacerbated by the IMMENSE amount of teething drool we're encountering...) and some on her belly and now back.  Drat.  So... good news, probably not the wheat.  Bad news... what the hell is it?

Busy bee

I've been eating sunbutter with wild abandon (I need more fats to feel full!), so I think I'll drop that again since that was a problem a few months ago.  Also, looking into it a little more, I finally realized she has reacted to everything in the nightshade family (potatoes, peppers, sweet potatoes, tomatoes etc) so adding the tomatoes back in could be the problem too.  She may react to the whole darn family of foods, which is pretty typical apparently.  So, I'm dropping the tomatoes too.  We'll see where we're at in two weeks - hopefully rash free and with a happier baby.  (I don't know if the recent grumps are due to discomfort or possibly teething?)  The total bummer bit about this is that I had finally finessed a monthly dinner calendar (er, 4 different weekly calendars at least;) to pick from each Sunday.  It was sooo nice to have that many meals that we could all eat and enjoy.  Nixing the tomatoes takes away about 1/3 of them (cuz P enjoys tomato based foods so much.)  Now its back to the drawing board so that I don't' spend hours every Saturday saying, "what will we eat this week?  What oh what will we eat?  Chicken?" And P running the other way... ;)  At least parsnips (roasted with carrots in duck fat - yummmm) are still on the ok list!

Zia: her fourth month

I'm finding the second kid to be an entirely different experience.  Every milestone was a daily noted (and watched and waited for) occurrence with P.  With Zia, well, I'm still shocked she's sitting and grabbing and moving.  The time has flown so fast it just doesn't seem possible that she's moving so steadily beyond newborn :) I am realizing I totally had postpartum depression with P and just thought it was the misery of sleep deprivation and overwhelming-ness of parenting.  Nope.  This is an entirely different experience and I thank my stars (and placental encapsulation) that it didn't strike me this time.

Watching otters at the Zoo.

She went to her very first doctor's appointment last week.  I think we found a great doc and just wanted Z on her roster for the inevitable time that we'll need a doc.  Turns out she's perfectly healthy ;)  Fifteen pounds, average weight, average height, hitting all of her milestones beautifully.  The doctor said Zia is a truly amazing baby - but I'm sure she says that to all the new patients ;)

She LOVES going on walks.

The only sad news was concerning the food sensitivities. Sweet Z has had an angry eczema patch since right after we returned to Portland.  Looking back, the one big change was me eating wheat again.  But I was in serious denial that it could be the culprit ;)  I dropped lots of different foods, experimenting, seeing if it would go away.  No dice.  It looked particularly sad the day we saw the doc and she strongly suggested me to drop wheat.  Sigh.  After three days of gluten free eating, the rash is gone.  Double sigh.  Oh well.  The Dr. said keeping her free of her food allergens, and thereby keeping her histamine response down, is really helping her to be a healthy baby.  Yay!

I've continued testing foods and have had some big successes to make up for the gluten free bit, so I'm really not feeling as bowled over by the limits as I was a couple of months ago.  Nevertheless, I'm still dairy, gluten (all grains, actually right now), soy, corn, nut, most seed, potatoes, yams and egg free.  I also have yet to test most fruits.  Since soy and corn lurk in everything sold at the store, we are totally package free (except for my dijon mustard;)  I'm trying to find really nutrient dense foods so I can fill up a bit faster, rather than having to cook and eat a million times a day (grains help me feel full.  So would nuts.  Sigh. Meat just doesn't!)  And I've been really focusing on calcium, cuz there's only so much broccoli I can consume in one sitting (though that amount is a shocking amount;)

Super tired, but really tickled with the whisk.

The biggest success I've added is sunflower seeds (yayyyyyyyyyyyy!)  She has had some crankiness since then and E will tease me, 'You eat sunflower butter today?" and I quickly remind him that I staunchly believe she is teething :)  And while I can't have a sunbutter sandwich, I can blend the shit up with dates, ginger and lemon zest for the yummiest "cookies" on the planet. (yes, A, these make me think of you and your ginger love:)  The best thing about this is that I finally have a transportable protein for outings with P, preventing me from becoming the Super Grump.

I've also added... chocolate.  I think that chocolate makes everything better.  Of course, I had to find a dairy and soy free chocolate (so, so rare) that was fair trade (ultra rare) and that makes this a spendy treat.  But, dammit, it makes me wowsers happy :)  And, when I zoom sunbutter, dates, dried apples, vanilla and chocolate in the quizinart?  I get "chocolate chip cookies."  This makes me very happy :)  We've also added salmon.  Happiness all around :)

But back to Z ;)  She's awesome. She still eats all. the. time.  I keep expecting her to spread out her feeds sometime soon...  And she has a couple of 2 hour stretches at night, but she also eats every hour for a lot of the night.  (Since she's in bed with me, this doesn't disturb me sooo much.  Except for when my brain turns on and then I can't get back to sleep, thinking about house hunting bizness.  After a couple of those nights, I start to dice my fingertips and switch out consonants.  The boys think I'm funny :) She also eats most of the day ;)   The better to keep those double knees...

She's sitting pretty strong.  Her legs are really strong and she flops herself over into a crawl position, but her weaker arms give out and she'll faceplant if you don't catch her.   She kinda hates her damn Bumbo.  But she wants to sit all the time.  Tricky when dicing and chopping and frying... So I schlumped the Sumo (kinda like a firm, waterproof bean bag) onto the living room floor and she sits on that with toys around to chew on and if she falls, no harm, no mommy guilt, no hot-grease spattered baby ;)

She LOVES P's funny faces.

Oh!  And she tried her first food!  P had NO interest in foods.  For Forever.  Zia has been watching my fork with delight for the last month!  She started grabbing my apple a week ago and licking it with delight.  Then she started in on my smoothie yesterday.  For calcium and micronutrients I juice an apple, lemon and ginger then blend that with a  blender full of spinach and some coconut milk each morning.  She tried to gnaw her way through my glass jar, so I let her have a drop off of my straw.  She greedily sucked it dry!  And clamored for more!  Seems like a strange first food, and if I remember correctly, you're supposed to start with single foods, after six months, and work up from there.  So I'm probably doing her and her sensitive digestive system some serious disservice.  I'll have to look into that ;)  When she eyed my turkey between two apples slices today I had to laugh.  Not quite yet ;)

House Huntin'

We're a house hunting' here.  Its a funny time.  The Little Man doesn't understand so much still (he is only seven, I have to remind myself).  For example, E often mentions our dream of making an off-grid warehouse type structure.  P was always adamantly against this.  ADAMANTLY.  And this confused me.  Then when he was almost in tears the last time E brought it up we finally got to the bottom of the situation.  P thought we literally meant that WE would build the house.  And, obviously, it would suck.   Just some boards nailed together, was how he described it.  Oh the sweetness of youth and cluelessness.

So its hard on P, because he doesn't understand it.  He is So Excited at the idea of having our very. own. house.  (That he could finally have the pink painted walls of his dreams:)  But in the beginning, he would get soooo stressed whenever E and I started talking about a house.  (Even a non tacked together homemade warehouse ;)  Apparently, he thought you could just buy one over the internet, like you buy a book on Amazon.  That we would just buy the damn thing with a button push, without him having any input.  We've set that aside, but there's still the "attachment to each new find" issue to overcome...

And the whole process is hard on a commitment-phobe.  A gypsy by heart.  And someone who doesn't particularly enjoy houses in general.  I mean, I LOVE living spaces, creating space, filling the space, organizing the space.  But typical houses are a bit too rigid for me.  Not enough concrete floor space for projects, too many rooms separating us all from one another.  Never a big enough kitchen (which, in my personal opinion, should take up two thirds of a house ;)  And, unlike my love for projects, Superman, already busy every waking moment, has no time for projects, home or otherwise.  But, little by little, we're all figuring this process out :)

But poor Zia gets the short end of the stick.  Because occasionally,  but as rarely as possible, we have to get in a car to check out a new place.  And it is just awwwwwwwwwful.  She cried so hard the other day she almost couldn't breath (I was, seriously, nauseous listening to her.  Baby cries KILL me.)  Of course, I'm sitting right. beside. her.  Squished between the two ginormous carseats.  Kissing her.  And P is singing to her and making faces and roaring to entertain.  But she absolutely, positively cannot understand why I won't pick her up!  Poor thing.  Thank gawd we can typically walk to everything.

But other our current obsession (scouring neighborhoods by bike or car), we are just hanging and having fun.  Enjoying the groovy winter weather and all of the projects a boy can think up.  Here's some pics:

Peaches digs her thumb.  I wonder if we'll have a thumb sucker..

 And her toes.  I already know we have a toe sucker.  Only to be stopped by big booties.

And she is sitting!!!  She started it a couple of weeks ago, but was still so tippy toppy I didn't feel safe moving far enough away to get a pic.  And while she does still slide to the side sometimes, she is getting pretty darn strong sitting up.  Which opens up play possibilities :)  P is very choosy about which baby toys he pulls out to share - but its sweet he pulls any out :)

Loving the grass

P is working up a pretty impressive bamboo collection.  This one was ridiculously long.  He drags them home from everywhere.  

We checked out the Sellwood neighborhood this last week (just figuring out which neighborhood to move to in this city is overwhelming.  There are a lot of great ones, each with a different flavor and set of perks.)  Sellwood has a gorgeous park... already starting to bloom!  In February!!!!  Yes, this is what it takes to settle a gypsy heart ;)

 Peaches in the park.   She was soooo tickled by our trip.

And P was tickled that she "collected" something. 

Updates n stuff

I started this two weeks ago on my phone.  Stuff, of course, has changed by now, but I'll post it for posterity ;)

This week has been nice, but a bit of a challenge. And P has been so sweet through it all. He's snagged a couple days of longer sleep (Zia awoke SO early a few days that we were able to get back to bed for a nap before the clock even hit 7 and P noticed our absence) and that seems to have helped his heightened sense of need. That, and he's starting to kick this cold to the curb.

But that only makes one of us. I'm having a hard time rebounding - I think just from lack of sleep/rest. So our days have been especially mellow. Which is typically fun mid-winter... but it's gorgeous and sunny outside and it kills me to be in! So we tromp into the back to kick the soccer ball and find bugs... and I'm sure I'm not doing myself any favors ;).

So rather than rocking' out while Z sleeps in my arms this week, I've tended towards simple swaying, leaving P to be very independent. Of course, crazy projects erupt :). There was the flour and water project (sent out of doors and still necessitating a nice scrub for the front porch...), the empty-aquarium-made-ocean project, the herb picking project (yes, I surrendered the garden to his interests - it was so quiet inside ;), the playdough project (ditto the front porch's problem...), the Lego day and yesterday's paint project (painted racing tracks, still drying on the back porch...) I LOVE that he is always inspired to do something. This week I've just had to love how much mess goes along with this indie excitement ;)

So, it hit me yesterday just how independent he has grown since Zia joined us. I mean, he's going through a bit of a nervous phase (he says he's worried we'll abandon him!!! That's why he drags his tired butt outta bed if we're not there!! On the off chance we've hit the road. And no, he can't explain why he worries. He just can't ignore that idea creeping around his head. Poor kid!). At any rate, this sudden onslaught of separation anxiety had overshadowed his growth in my mind. Which I realized when I walked into the dining room (craft room, really. We've eaten in there, like, 4 times. All in our first week here ;) and he was scaling the closet door frame to reach his paints :). I was busy with Zia and he'd set up a workspace on the floor (a previous project taking up all of the table space:) and was mixing colors with glee.

I also noticed his growth with Zia. He wants to hold her a lot more. He lives to wiggle her while she's "standing" and make her dance to his songs. And he'll repeat an action to infinity if it makes her laugh. But most noticeable is the fact that when she protests life this week, he no longer bemoans her moaning. He soothes. And he seems to take her comfort as a priority over his. I was helping him the other day and Z was less than thrilled. Typically I stop and adjust the situation for her, but P's need only needed a little more of me and Z, safe in my arms, could handle it. But P looked at me aghast! "Mama!  Zia needs you! She's not happy!".

From this child, this surprises me. I mean, I'm still surprised each time Zia needs a clean nappy or to be bounced to sleep and P doesn't protest her interrupting our plans. Shocking, since this is the same kid who complained every time I had to stop our play in order to pee for... about 7 years...

Below, P holds Zia for a little puppet show I was doing.  He'd brought his finger puppets in to perform for her when she wasn't feeling well with her cold (he made them sing songs about how great of a baby she is - something he repeats All. Day.  Long. :).  She LOVED it.  My puppet show had a bit more gore, which P loved ;) 

Zia is so happy to watch P play.  Lucky second born ;)  We must have been soooo boring to P as a babe...

Holy Cow

Zia just nursed to sleep - LAYING DOWN - in bed. This hasn't been possible since she was 3 weeks old. A hugely momentous, non bouncing moment.

Happy Mama, out.

Sniffle, schnuffle

A little health woes update :). Zia and I have been unusually healthy this winter, only falling to mastitis. Until last weekend. When E was slated to go out of town to visit our dearest friend from college and his awesome hubby. Of course, Superman wouldn't leave town with me, and then the kids, falling sick. Poor Superman. No rest for the weary....

Zia has been a dream baby, sniffly or no. A couple of rough(er;) nights, but otherwise pretty happy. I stand in awe, every day, at what an entirely different experience this is compared to P's babyhood - and the beginning of Z's babyhood, too. Awe.

P has been uncharacteristically weepy of late. Seven is proving to be a fascinating age. Less sunny than six, more squirrelly too! Sensitive as the day is long. Transitions are easier in some ways - the physical changing of space. But emotional attachments, those transitions (say, losing a stick he'd been playing with for a few blocks, old fingernail trimmers breaking), those are earth shattering. Very interesting stuff... He's been unusually full of needs lately, a bottomless cup, and I need to figure out how to fill it... there doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day.

But his headaches are gone - so that's huge. He started having them every day a couple of weeks ago (before the concussion) - right when he started eating horribly. I tried to offer good options, but he was staunchly stuck on ice cream :). Finally, he grew tired of his head misery and gave up the goods. Instant improvement ;). I'm tickled he's enjoying good foods and feeling swell again. Now, if I can just get some good sleep and kick this cold, we can go on the playdates and adventures we've been skipping. And Superman can get his butt down to LA!

OMSI

We took the bus to OMSI last week. I found the public transport and the museum outing happily doable with two. I just need to figure a way to carry Zia, the diaper bag, snacks and coats more comfortably. P loves the museums here, they are so much less busy and overwhelming than NYC's. He has requested the zoo for our next P and Z adventure!

A Big Sigh and a little Snow

It snowed again last week.  It was beeeautiful.  For a couple of hours ;)  Fortunately, P was up early enough to get in some playtime before it melted away.  Unfortunately, the boys next door were at school and unavailable for play (P's used to snow days in NYC and all of the neighbor kids playing in a huge pile.)  To top it off, Zia and I weren't particularly interested in a snowball fight first thing in the morning :( So P, always the problem solver, had us stand in the window and blasted us there.  This was infinitely more fulfilling anyway, since he could hit his sister straight in her face without any guilt ;)  She cackled, he cackled, it was all good.

Then he scored a carrot and corralled as much snow as he could to make Mount Hood (the neighboring ski slope) and a snow man.
Good times :)

Inside, he rediscovered BB's chateau and set it up in the living room. This totally demonstrates how P plays.  He sets things up.  In minute detail.  Harry Potter Museums.  Art shows.  Totoro exhibits.  Science experiment shelves.  Even his castle.  He very carefully places his battle boys in specific spots.  We usually duel, one on one with these bad boys. But the other day, my character got a little aggressive and accidentally sent a passer-by flying, knocking over a couple of other players and toppling the castle tower.  The Little Man fought back tears.  Things were out of order, his perfect display was a mess.  I felt awful, playing willy-nilly like I did as a child, forgetting how particular P is about his set-ups.  I was much more careful when the Minotaur moved in next door to the chateau this week.

Meanwhile, we've had a huge leap of luck with Zia.  I know sesame seeds give her insomnia.  (I've tested them THREE times, hoping this was a joke.  I would very much like them in my diet for a calcium source - and I just like sesame seed stuff;)  I decided a couple weeks ago that hummus probably doesn't have enough sesame seeds in the tahini to make things tough.  Ditto on baba ganoush.  I mean, its got to be such a tiny amount, how could it even count??  So I've been enjoying these new foods and wondering why the baby can only catch tiny naps and sleep a couple of hours a night.  Gee.... why???

Enter in head smack.  Two days after giving up my hummus habit, Miss Z is taking her first real nap in a couple weeks.  After clocking a decent number of hours in bed last night.  Not only does this make for a happier baby, but the more focused attention that P gets during these naps makes for a happier seven year old.  And that, well, that makes for a very happy Mama.

Zia's most favorite thing this week: her toes.  She likes to lay bare butted on her sheepskin and fold herself in half, baby contortionist style, to suck on her toes.  Kick, repeat, giggle.  

Sweetness

We had to grab something big n bulky from a nearby store today. I haven't mastered a back carry with Zia yet and figured I'd squish her wearing her on my front... Drat. Then I remembered we have P's ol' stroller!

Phoenix was SO excited for Zia to go on her first stroller ride :). I guess because he can access her there? He skipped along, holding onto her pram -then suddenly jumped with glee and shouted, "I LOVE HAVING A LITTLE SISTER!!!". lol.

A couple minutes later he stopped in his tracks and requested my phone. He wanted a picture of Miss Z on her first ride :).

Z: her third month

Zia turned four months this week!  I can't believe it (I know, I said that last time, right?)  It simultaneously seems like she's always been with us and is brand new, if that makes any sense...

Today probably isn't the best day for me to do an update...  I'm crabby to beat the band.  But I'll try and remember all of the sweet things that make me squee all of my other lucky days :)

No new tricks this month, really, just major improvements on last months celebrations.  The laundry list:  She's getting better with her hands (though she's still as likely to knock something over and, thus, away from herself as she is to bring it successfully to her mouth - which makes her less than thrilled ;)  She rolls over like she's breathing.  What took concentration and determination is now a quick flop.  (The downside to this?  She has started trying to lick/eat the carpet and she's so quick these days that she typically gets in a nice chomp before I can scoop her up.  I know, I know, for gawd's sake, woman!  Toss down a blanket!)  She even perched up on her knees a few times... and then face planted - eek!  She has signed for "milk" quite a few times, but not reliably.  She babbles, a lot. The ECing comes and goes.  Some days we nail it and only have a few dipes to wash, other days we barely have enough dipes to make it through all of our misses :)  I'm assuming its a work in progress, or that's what I tell myself each and every miss...

I think what I'm finding most astounding at this point is her (typically, not today, of course;) contentment.  Yes, she squeals and grunts to let us know we're not doing something as she prefers, and every once in a while we get it so wrong that there may be a tear.  But, typically, she's just a happy baby.  She will lay on the floor while I grab a quick shower before the sun comes up.  Never letting out a single discouraged peep (an astonishing feat in my book, since P was, oh, about 6 before he didn't mind that sort of separation.  I'm not kidding.  At all.)  She often sits on my lap while I eat and just watches the diner table gab.  (We took turns eating for, like, 3 years with P.  Fer realz.)  She's happy to be tossed on the floor for a bit after she wakes up and I pop her out of my wrap so she can pee.  She talks to herself and rolls around, totally happy.  Then I can toss in laundry or slam some dishes into the washer (its amazing what a woman can accomplish in 7 minutes with no baby on her body.)  If she starts to fuss, P typically tromps over with a "Ziiiiiaaaaa.  Ziiiiiiaaaa - what's the matter? Huh?"  And then he makes funny faces and she cackles.

P was not content on the floor.  Out of my arms.  Off of my breast.  Content, in fact, was not a word we ever used with P when he was an infant.  So this is a whole new ball game for me.

The days she's not content are days I've tried a new food that didn't' set so well.  And this makes me feel (again) so badly for P, that I didn't' realize the source of his discontent.  Then Zia doesn't want to be put down either.  Doesn't want to sleep.  Eat.  Doesn't want Papa.  Just doesn't in general.  

But those are rare now that I'm getting her allergies nailed (I remind myself, today:)  And I'm consistently amazed at how happy of a baby she is.  In fact, when she gets tired in the evening, she gets totally slap happy.  Its hilarious.  She laughs at everything (if I'm holding her).  And then she crashes ;)  But its typically quick and painless and with only gentle bounces...

There.  I hope that all sounded fabulously positive.  I should go back and reread it to get out of my current schlump.  Caused by a complete lack of sleep.  That's a collective lack, by the way.  A family sized lack.  Zia has been staying up until 10ish, getting up at 5ish and then only grabbing another couple hours (at most) during the day in tiny (sometimes 5 minute) increments.  And the seven whole hours she spends in bed at night are restless and full of nursing and flopping and farting sessions.  Each day I grow more sleep deprived, and each day requiring almost all day dedication to two at once, awake at the same time, only wears me out more.  Meanwhile, P has decided he cannot be in the bedroom when E or I are not present.  So he, too, is staying up late and rising in the dark.  A seven year old with bags under his eyes cannot possibly be anything other than clingy, demanding and easily upset.  (Although I think he may be behaving a bit better than me...)  So not only am I bonecurlingly tired, but the children are positively full of extra needs this week.  And awake to graciously share those needs for a whole 17 hours straight!

To top it all off with a big red bow, P's gut has gotten so out of whack (headaches, tummy upset, only wants to eat ice cream - all precipitated by having to take antibiotics a while back :( ) that he started asking to go back on the GAPS.  (Remember that?  We tried it a year ago for E?  My mother giddily shared a story when we were home for a visit.  The Little Man was walking through the health food store with her and pointed to a food and said something to the extent of "I ate that when I was on that fucking GAPS diet.  I hated that.")  Apparently he hates feeling yucky even more, as he has, of his own volition, given up sugar and wheat and dairy....  So I'm cooking crazy again.  (Crazier?)  And its rained all week (a first for us here), so we've been inside all 17 hours a day, enjoying each other's hunger pangs and whininess...

How, you ask, is she then blogging?  After all, seems she's got her hands pretty full with her pity trip.  Lean in for today's dirty secret.  I have reached the bottom.   We walked (in the rain) to the library and got DVDs.  I know, unschoolers worship the DVD.  '70's parents didn't think twice about the betamax.  Me?  I'm a funky Waldorf-unschooly mix, and I dislike almost every message I've met meant for the little guys that Hollywood hacks hand out.  But today?  Bring'em on.  Even if all hell breaks loose again in a bit, P giggling at a show while Zia naps on my lap and I carve out a couple of guilty me minutes on the blog - yah, that'll be enough to weather through the later...