Phoenixisms

I'm far behind on posts lately - he's doing cute/fun things faster than I can blog! So i wanted to just get some P quotes out.

11.15.07 We were listening to Claire de lune and he stopped playing, turned to me and said "That is a sad story mom."

Speaking of music, he's just gotten into singing with words in the past 2 months. He's hummed since he was tiny, but never sang songs. He always refused to be one of those cherub cheeked reciters of The Itsy Bitsy Spider or Twinkle. So he finally rips out his first tune after his third Bday and it is "oompaoompaoompadeedoo" from Willy Wonka. He's never seen the movie, but E's plagiarized it when storytelling.

12.26.07 Last night we aired up the Aero bed for visiting family. Phoenix was in heaven jumping on it. He then climbed onto a chest from which to plummet. He stopped and asked if it was ok, would it pop? Ethan told him he'd be fine, he didn't have enough lead in his ass to pop the bed. Washing dishes, I sighed, but said nothing, hoping it would pass unnoticed. I have no problem with cussing, love it, actually, but enjoy the thought of P's vocabulary growing in a playground appropriate direction nonetheless. The next 5 minutes consisted of P flinging himself off of the chest while chanting "Not much ass in my fault." Finally, Ethan repeated the original phrase and turned to me saying "he may as well get it right." The following 5 minutes consisted of ass propelling and Properly Phrased chanting.

12.26.07 The waitress at one of our fave Italian eateries is an angel with kids. She coos and teases "Felix" each time we visit. Last time he ordered the pumpkin ice cream, served in a little pumpkin. It was delicious and Very Frozen. She asked P if he liked it. "Yes," he told her, "It cold to my mouth." She laughed and asked if he wanted her to put it in the microwave for him. "Mmhm," he innocently nodded in thanks as he slid the bowl towards her. Her laugh was huge and P first looked surprised, then smiled at himself. "I'm just teasing you Felix," she told him. "I just teasing you too."

12.20.07 We were going to bed the other night and he turned to ask "How does our skin come off our skulls when we die?"

12.02.07 We have a Big blanket on our bed and a small, apartment sized washing machine. Food is allowed everywhere in our house, but we try to keep the messy stuff off of the bed due to washing difficulty. P wanted to wrestle on the bed and eat his dinner simultaneously the other night and we explained the problem. Always the problem solver, he smiled and said "Us have to wash it in the swimming pool sometime!"

12.12.07 Phoenix has been asking for a fire truck so I was looking on Craigslist for a cool one. I found one too, but she lives out on Long Island (no sub stops) and wasn't interested in shipping. P's eagle eye saw the pic on my computer and he informed me he Really wanted that truck. I briefly explained the problem. His problem solving skills jumped to the rescue. "Maybe we can use Our car!" Its in Kansas, P. "Maybe Grams' car!!" Its in Kansas too P. "Maybe she can send it in a box?" She won't. "Hmmm. I know! Maybe a rental car?!"

11.16. 07 P saw himself in the mirror and started making faces etc. Then he told me "When I look like this, I look like Grandpapa. When my head like this, I look like Jace. When I look up like this, I look like you."

11.12.07 At breakfast: "We gonna die today, mama?' This question quickly became a breakfast time staple. I don't remember the last time he didn't ask me if we were going to die that day. It seemed morbid at the time, but it has definitely served as a daily reminder of how precious each day is!

12.15.07 At dinner. "I want a knife to cut your skin." Me "You want to cut me?" P: "No, I want to cut Papa." Me: "You want to cut Papa? Why would you cut Papa?" P: "For grams and gramps, cuz they eat meat. I want to cut your skin open, Papa, for mama's daddy to eat." Thus a discussion of cannibalism and the supposed difference between papa and veal entered Phoenix's life...

12.18.07 P likes to tell stories. He loves to start with the plot, give us the basics and then have us re-tell the story to him. This day his story went something like this: "Phoenix was going to the North pole by ship. Mama go too. I hear shark noises. Duhduh... Duh duhh. And they flew in a air-o-plane cuz its dangerous to go by boat with sharks! Mama and Phoenix jumped up onto the plane and flew to the north pole. Oh! The mail is coming! The mail is here!" There were some more details and then he climbed into a rather small toy bucket and said "I'm the boy who lives in this bucket and never sleeps."

12.21.07 P: "I like books about minotaurs, but not real minotaurs."

12.24.07 He informed me the garage doors at gram's house were there to keep monsters out.

Comments and a Question

Just a shout out for all of the comments! Thank you. Phoenix loves hearing your stories and well wishes - I think it helps him understand the whole blog/faraway family thing a little more. (But the blog in general may be confusing his already egocentric view of the world. He sees pics of himself pretty regularly since Safari opens to his blog page on my computer - when we look up dinosaur names we see his face first! I knew for sure his view of life was skewed last Wednesday. We popped into the city and he saw an Enormous billboard sporting a picture of a cute baby. "That baby me, mama?" P innocently asking if a major ad in NYC featured his sweet face had me laughing so hard people turned to look at the crazy woman. P, of course, didn't understand why this was a funny question at all....) But back to the comments. One question from a blog newbie, should I post any responses through the blog or email people separately? Anyone, help with blog etiquette?

Peace, Porridge and Peter and the Wolf

Phoenix's appetite for stories is positively insatiable. Who doesn't love a good yarn, right? I'll tell you who, the person who's voice is hoarse from spinning the damn thing. P loves freshly formed Phoenix stories, tailored to his current interests. When we're too tired or lame to use our imaginations we read countless books. But often, we are done before he is. He especially loves books during dinner. But trying to eat while being climbed on by the small moving object you are shoving forkfulls of food at all while trying to feed yourself, chew and hold/read a book without spitting/spilling food everywhere gets old. Despite the widening of my ass to the contrary, I usually choose to wait until the food grows cold and the child spins to something else before venturing to eat. But the dream of warm food and peaceful meals continuously chewed at my brain. This week I finally found the solution.

We tried books on tape in Wichita. Rewinding and finding the spot he wants frustrates Phoenix (and me!). Books with CD's are user friendly but wouldn't last a day in our house. Try as he may, he's not quite ready to keep discs scratch free. Then I came across my old records. Remembering how much I enjoyed listening to my little record player as a girl I knew I had the answer. I found a portable record player DJ's use (read: sturdy) and ordered old children's records off of ebay. It all arrived yesterday along with a subtle but annoying cold for P and the combo was perfect. Most of the records don't have picture books, leaving P's imagination open to grow exponentially. I worried that without himself as star these illustration free records might not capture his attention, but he's actually more enthralled with them than the picture book records. His favorite so far is Tchaikovsky's Peter and the Wolf, told by Boris Karloff. I vividly remember being terrified and drawn to this same piece when I was young. I can't capture the terror any more, and P doesn't seem too nervous, but he's definitely drawn to it. That and Benny the Beaver, a beaver who plays instruments with his tail. He also favors Babar and Hooks and Ladder, a story about a day in the fire station. Most of these are 50 or 60 years old and have the sound effects familiar to old radio broadcasts replete with chorus and that funny Nathan Lane like accent. They are wonderful. And they are labeled "Unbreakable." Of course, we haven't told P that, but they've lasted through some 50 years of children's abuse so I'm guessing he's good to go. He's especially proud of his record player, what with the buttons and carrying case, I think he feels pretty big. But best of all, we've had 4 peaceful meals in a row and lots of chats about new subjects and vocabulary. As you can see above, P loves porridge and slurped it up while solemnly listening to Peter and then Hansel and Gretel this morning. And you know, porridge tastes much better warm.

Three: A Social Milestone

Since returning 2 weeks ago, P has played with his friends more than ever. And for the first time in his short life, the term "played with" is really appropriate! Normally, going to the park or playgroup was just a way to get him Near other children. Parallel play mostly. The occasional game of chase breaking the monotony of just running along side one another. But he's made some friends who are a wee bit older than him and now he can imagine with them as he imagines with us and its fun to watch.

Last week we played with Malek at the boys' indoor paradise, aka the Transit Museum. There are buses to drive and fill with gas, engines to watch work, old toy trains on display, decades worth of turnstyles to turn and a fascinating display of the subway's creation. If that isn't a morning full of fun, then you can head down the subway steps (the museum is housed in an unused sub stop) to the sub platform and run in and out of subway cars dating back 100 years.

We also played with his buddy, Benny, who Phoenix adores. They share a love of Cars and trains :) After some parallel play with trains, some car racing in the halls and then some bed bouncing/stuffed animal throwing the two started to plan and plot with their cars, talking amongst themselves, lining cars against the wall and zooming off down the halls. About the time Phoenix was really feeling comfortable, we were walking that line of overstaying our welcome and he had to be coaxed away from his friend...

Tuesday's playgroup supported my newly formed theory that P shines most with long playdates. It takes him a while to warm up to his grandparents each time he sees them, so it makes sense that he doesn't feel comfortable jumping right into the throng of things on a playdate. Tuesday, the roomful of boys played nicely with their individual cars or trains while the two girls wove elaborate stories and shrieked and giggled together. (I'm going to save the discussion on the seemingly obvious differences here, but it has been interesting to watch.) As kids started to trickle out and the clock ticked on, P finally started to play with those around him. We were the last to leave and P had to be coaxed away once again....

Wednesday morning I assumed we'd be in for the day after so much action. Surprisingly, after a few hours of play P announced he wanted to invite Malek over. Last week's playdate with Malek had gone swimmingly, so I ignored my gut and grabbed the phone. And it all started well enough. But Malek was in the mood for parallel play and moved from toy to toy rather than playing With Phoenix. P started to get grabby. So I fed the boys hoping the vibe was nothing more than hungry tummies. P tried some imaginative play but Malek wasn't into Rapunzel. We made a long train set with adequate room for them to both roam, but they crashed their trains together. They skirmished over squishy fish. Finally, P announced he was ready for Malek to leave. Linda was on the same timeline as P, but Malek was not. He floated from toy to toy, happily oblivious of expectations. P restated his preferences. Finished waiting, he walked over, grabbed his bowl of lentils and dumped it on Malek's head. Lovely Linda thought this was hilarious, I was mortified, as was Malek, and Phoenix felt vindicated. He may have reached a social milestone, but I'll have to be more careful when he reaches his social fill (or for his lentils) from now on...

Unschooly Quote

"Listen to the MUSTN'TS, child,
Listen to the DONT'S
Listen to the SHOULDN'TS
The IMPOSSIBLES, the WONT'S
Listen to the NEVER HAVES
Then listen close to me-
Anything can happen, child,
ANYTHING can be."
(Listen to the Mustn'ts, Shel Silverstein)

Puzzles, Puzzles Everywhere

So yesterday was a puzzle day. P gets in these spurts where he wants to do puzzle after puzzle after puzzle. So that's what we did. Much like the NHM, its fun to see his growth measured by his puzzle performance too. Unschooling true, I sit on my hands and keep my mouth shut as I see him butt unfitting pieces up against one another. Its amazingly hard to just Watch someone learn. But that's blue, and that piece needs red silly! But P doesn't do well with this sort of "help," and that would take away the point of the puzzle anyway, so I sit quietly and watch (if instructed) or cook (if permitted). After a bit he wants me to do it instead and so we take turns. Then, when its finished he immediately tears it apart and moves on to devour another one. No relishing completion here. He realizes what I often forget, the journey is the important part :)

And speaking of journeys. Two of his puzzles came in the cutest little luggage shaped carriers. When he had had his fill of puzzles he announced we were going on a trip and proceeded to carry his "baggage" to the conveyer belt. It went through security. He set off the metal detector. There were many iterations of the conveyer belt and metal detector scenario. Then he stowed them safely beneath his seat, buckled his belt and off we flew. To California. Hours later this game had morphed into him hijacking a plane and getting chased by the cops, replete with jail sentence and his daring escape. Now how he knows about these things in a T.V free house is the real puzzle to me.

Grams and Gramps and the NHM

The week we returned, my folks were in the city for business. The usual suspects for entertainment (parks, playgrounds, beach) were out due to inclement weather so we went to Phoenix's favorite museum. P Loves the Natural History Museum; it is his cold weather playground.

Its fascinating to watch a child grow. To hear a new word enter their vocabulary or see a new trick enter their repertoire. But so much of their growth is subtle; obscured from daily observation. Watching P at the NHM is like standing him in front of one of those doorway growth charts. Every month that we go is a totally different experience.

The first few times he just relished the (enormous) space to run. He wasn't even 2 years old and movement was really all he cared about. Slowly that evolved to running And glancing in the windows to walking from window to window to standing in front of the windows and asking questions. And this time, his little sponge brain was swelling (Greg), the questions reverberated for days. But all of the natural violence portrayed in those windows has him a bit confused. He can't kick the cat, but that cat can kill that gazelle? And apparently the spear holding hunter has given him a new venue for perplexing subjects he's been quietly kicking around in his brain. For instance, he saw my mom whacking some meat with a cleaver before dinner one night in Kansas. He asked about it and it seemed that the subject was closed and forgotten. Fast forward a month and one visit to NHM, and he's beating his soft animals with his hammer. He then hands them to me, informing me that I am to be a Neanderthal now, and asks me to eat the animal. I asked him what was up and he told me he had squished it to cook it and that Neanderthals eat meat, so I can eat it. After watching me chew on his animal for a minute he retrieved it and gave me a serious chat about becoming a vegetarian :) And for the first time ever, the damn Neanderthal's weapon (he doesn't even remember the name, but he hands me Tinker Toys to play the part) has entered our home too. (Just a hop, skip and jump to guns now :) But that's another post... ) So very much to learn!

So it was great that my folks were there to share P's favorites. He showed them the whale (his first stop each trip to the museum - the size just blows us away!). Then he wanted them to see The Squid and The Whale. In the movie by the same name (based on a fictional, separating family in our nabe), one son describes his early memories of this exhibit and I can't help but think P feels the same way. Repelled and compelled to view it simultaneously. It scares him, but he's fascinated by the fight and the dark and the size. So we shared this too and then moved onto mammals and dinosaurs and then, of course, the gift shop. P's true favorite at the museum :)

P's Pals

On our way back to NY we visited our fabulous friends in Lawrence. P Loves these people. He calls them Aunt and Uncle and believes they are family. Ella is the big sister P will never have and he talks about her all the time. Reed and P, now that they are both on the other side of that fantastic toddler phase of random pushing, are becoming fast friends.

In the past, these get-togethers were a constant hands on struggle. Gentle Please! Climb elsewhere please! Etc. But this time they were finally old enough to just Play. The kids had Way too much fun with some plastic fangs. They played vet and saved countless stuffed animals from ghastly diseases. They played monster/chase with Uncle Allen (and P had the black eye to prove it!) At one point Reed and Phoenix played quietly beside each other, switching toys wordlessly. This went on for 20 minutes and they almost seemed oblivious to each other's existence. Then, as one passed the other, they both reached out, held one another's hand for a moment and then continued on with their business. It was a joy to see them all enjoying each other so much. Of course, this also gave us adults more time to drink :)

Phoenix finally curses

Last night as P headed to bed he fell. He then turned to me and said "Mama, what's "shit"?" He knew it was the appropriate word, but didn't have a full grasp on its definition:) This reminded me that I hadn't yet journaled his first real curse. Not the mindlessly repeated kind, (the cat runs down the stairs and he repeats the same words E so profoundly stated when the cat snuck out on him) but an honest, proper usage. I hear cyber chuckles from many that it has taken three years for him to reach this point, what, with E's and my extensive vocabulary of colorful words...

Back in Kansas he found these probiotic "Slime" drinks (the company's name, not mine!) and finally weaseled me into buying them. They were obviously gross. (See "slime.") But they were brightly packaged, as many things at the health food store are not,featured a monster and the contents lacked food coloring. He Had to have it.

They came four to a package and upon opening the first one he was revolted by the smell (kefir). He sweet talked my mom into trying some when we got home. She sweet talked him into trying once more and again he couldn't even raise the slime spigot all the way to his mouth. "I no like that smell very much."

A few days later he wanted to try it again (that damn packaging. Slimy advertisers :) ) One whiff and he said "No thanks." Then he thought better of it and decided to make a concoction featuring the stuff. As I washed the dishes and he poured his mess into different glasses I heard his tell tale "Nuffin!" Nuffin, of course, means everything. I turned to see his concoction running off of the cabinet onto the floor. Quickly grabbing some rags, I handed one to him for the cabinet and I started cleaning the floor. Moments later I heard a gagging sound and looked up to see Phoenix scooting backwards from the mess, shaking his head in disgust at the smell, muttering "god dammit!" He'd really tried to help clean. Had stayed at it so long he'd wretched. Its only too appropriate that his first curse was connected to his super sensitive schnoz :)

Memories of Kansas

We've been back for a week and I haven't had a second to catch up here, but he's in bed early tonight so....

Today Uncle Seth asked P what he thought about his trip to Kansas. P replied, "Good. I missed New York." I thought it was an interesting summation. Its curious to be away for long periods now that he's really cognizant of his life. And while we had a very nice time in Kansas, he's repeatedly told me this week that he's happy to be home. The strange aggression that reared its head while away has dissipated and the change culminated today with one long song of "I love you's"," sung by Mr. Angel himself. (That and some silly song about Old McDonald eating his pants that he finds Truly Amusing. Unfortunately for P, he doesn't seem to have acquired the melodic voice that should have come with his father's funny feet.)

So it was sweet tonight to hear him list every family member he knows, saying he misses them. And so he should. Thanksgiving weekend was wonderful for P. He was chased. He was read to. He was introduced to new movies. He was caught, repeatedly, as he threw himself off of kitchen cabinets, at Jace, Grandpapa, Grams, Grama Mimi, Blaine, Seth, Alicia, Ian, Greg, and even my younger brother's very surprised girlfriend. Grandpapa piled leaves for jumping games. Everyone played cars with him. He was surrounded by helpers at the playground. He could put his finger to his forehead and people would shriek "Rhino!" on cue while being attacked again and again and again. Basically, he was adored and catered to. (I'd like to think this is his general state of existence, of course :) but to have sooo many loving caterers...)

Fortunately for P, 2 uncles live in NY. Also lucky for P, my folks were in town this week, extending the feeling of family in the city. We have our sights set on getting one more Uncle up here, but manipulative plans aside :) P's had a soft reintroduction to his home surrounded by sweet memories of his trip.